My Hopeless Hope-One Direction
by missmarisolmarie
Summary: Three years after her family tragedy, Jamie battles more than her own guilt. With no one to fall on but her abusive boyfriend, her problems get worse. After she escapes, will she find someone to protect her? Or will her boyfriend find a way to snake her way back into her life? (Based off of One Direction) WARNING: Contains self harm, eating disorder, language, and cases of rape.
1. Hopeless Freedom

(Jamie's POV)

I woke, hearing slurred laughs and hush voices. **Great**. I got up and replaced my short shorts with yoga pants and put a PINK sweatshirt over my tank top. I sighed when I looked in the mirror. _Pathetic_. I was fit, very fit. Only because running and hard work took these dark thoughts from my head. I still poked and prodded, finding imperfection with every glance of my tan skin. With a disgusted scoff and shake of my long brown wavy hair, I finally removed my eyes from the mirror and headed silently downstairs to grab my running shoes. I needed to get out.

After slipping on my shoes, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. 'There you are,' I spun around to see my drunken boyfriend smiling at my chest. 'Come here, don't you want show Danny how much you love him?' he slurred.

I backed away, finally hitting the wall. This pathetic excuse of a man was all I had left. My family had been taken in the sudden house fire. I didn't have any close relatives, so Dan was all I had to fall back on. But I had stayed for far too long. He was never abusive when we first met. When I denied him my 'V card', it all changed. He forced me from there on out. He convinced me I was good enough and should be lucky to have him. So I followed him around like a lost puppy for the past three years.

My distance daze gave him an advantage. He was suddenly pressed harshly upon me. I thrashed and pulled. 'Get off!' I pleaded.

His rough lips crashed down onto mine. His hands pinning mine above my head. He pulled back and smiled at me. He was fit, and had short dark hair with natural highlights from the sun, a toned body with ripped muscles from being a lifeguard for years and the bright green eyes. His large hands squeezed my breasts forcefully. I whimpered in pain, earning a moan from him. As his hand tried to roam my lower region, I lifted my knee, and in his blissful state, was able to knee him harshly in the jewels.

I ran up to my room, and grabbed my already packed duffel bag, stuffing my ipod, wallet, and phone in it. I ran back down the stairs, seeing a straight shot to the door. As my hand touched the knob I was violently yanked back by my hair.

'YOU LITTLE WHORE!' He exclaimed. He threw two kicks into my already sore stomach before hosting me up to look at him. 'I should have never saved you from that fire. I should have let you burn slowly, just like your parents.'

Anger flooded me and I spit in his face. I was quickly backhanded and fell to the hard floor. My already bruised face throbbed. I looked over to see him walking towards me. I kicked his ankle, making _him_ tumble to the ground. I quickly got up, and ran out the door. Freedom_. Freedom_. **Finally**.

As I ran down my street, I took a turn and headed into town. I ran hard. My legs started feeling the familiar slow burn and I eagerly welcomed it. As I turned the corner, I froze as I saw Dan's car speeding towards me. I turned around, pushing people as I filed through them. I turned towards an alley that would lead me to a small coffee shop. I was shocked to feel warm tears drip down my face as I pushed my aching body forward. _Weak_, I thought.

I look back as I rounded the corner as I ran harder. So close to being safe- BAM. The wind was knocked out of me as I fell lifelessly to the ground. I tried to stand up, but between exhaustion and soreness from today's event, I crumpled with a cry to the ground. I squinted up to see a figure looming over me.

'_Please…**don't**_,' I begged hoarsely.

My short found freedom was hopelessly over.


	2. Espresso

Harry POV

I had just placed my order for my coffee when already I heard the anxious squeals of fans waiting outside. Hearing an annoyed sigh, I looked over to the much too tired Zayn. He stepped up to the counter and ordered a straight black coffee with two shots of espresso.

"Ick," I scoffed, wrinkling my face in disgust. He turned and looked at me in disbelief. "Me?" He questioned accusingly. "How can you even down something so vile?" he retorted. "You put enough lumps of sugar in there to kill you!"

"Oh Zaaaaayn, you're just cranky because you're up before noon! Come here!" I said loudly with outstretched arm, walking towards him. "Harry," he said while backing away. "HARRY!" He shouted while I wrapped him in a tight hug. After a few moments Zayn stopped wiggling and gave up with a humph. I let go and smiled triumphantly.

"Oh, come on Harry. You know he can't function correctly before noon!" Louis reminded me. "But Louis-," my cheeky comment got cut off by the cute barista shouting our names.

"Louis, Harry, and Zayn, order up!" I winked at the shy girl who handed us our coffees. "Thanks...," I squinted at her name tag, "Miranda." I said sexily as possible. She blushed and ducked her head as we left.

Walking out the door, the three of us weaved in and out of security to avoid being closed in on by fans. Louis had turned around, walking backwards to try to get the last wave into the fans.

As he rounded the corner and turned around, he was suddenly thrown backwards into Zayn's arms as his hot coffee spilled all over him. "OWWW, OWWW, OWWW!" He shouted. As Zayn helped him wipe off his coffee, I looked forward at the girl who had been knocked to the ground.

I stepped forward to offer her a hand and an apology for Louis's careless actions, when I caught a glimpse of her face. It felt like the words had been ripped from my mouth and I stood frozen in place.

Forgetting myself, I crouched down in front of her, and she visibly flinched, pulling away. "Please…don't," she pleaded hoarsely. She squinted while looking up at me. She had a bruise around her left eye and neck, and scraped from falling on her hands.

"Shhhh, love. It's okay." I held out my hand. "Let me help you up." I offered. She looked at my hand and back at my face in disbelief before putting her bleeding hand in mine. As soon as she stood, she swooned and moaned in pain while desperately clutching her stomach. "Woah, I got you," I said holding her tightly by her waist and moving her towards a bench.

After sitting her down, she curled up tightly into herself, placing her head in her hands. "I'm _so_ _so _sorry," she mumbled miserably. "It's alright. You probably woke them up more than that coffee did!" I tried to joke with her, but she remained still. Louis and Zayn finally made their way over, and Zayn made a point to pick up her pink duffel bag.

"Jeez Louis, you almost killed the girl!" I scoffed sarcastically, glancing a concerned look down at the girl. "And she nearly melted me from with my own coffee!" He laughed back. When the girl lifted her head, his smile was instantly slapped off his face. She had fresh tears in her eyes, and some blood smudged on her cheeks from her scraped hands.

"I'm so sorry. It was an accident, I'm so clumsy!" She quickly stated, while getting up and going hesitantly grabbing her back from Zayn. We were all too shocked by her beaten body to respond. She quickly roamed around her bag before holding out a fifty in her hand to Louis.

Louis looked at her shaking hand as if it were Godzilla himself. "For the coffee," she quietly explained, giving a weak smile. "Oh my God." Louis finally muttered. Throwing the bill at him, she swung her duffel bag around her shoulder while clutching her stomach. "Again, I apologize, but I have to be going." She hurried her explanation while trying to walk swiftly pass us.

Zayn grabbed her arm and she stiffened by his side. "Darling, what happened to you? Who did this to you?" Louis questioned softly. Her eyes stayed glued to Zayn's hand, as she simply answered, "N-nothing. I fell a few days ago." Zayn let her go and added, "At least let us help you clean up. Then we can call you a taxi. It's the least we can do after this bozo knocked into you."

She started to sway again, her eyes blinking rapidly. "Yeah, okay," she slowly agreed. Zayn took her duffel, and Louis happily hoisted her up into his arms. She let out a cry and held her hands tight to her stomach. We looked at her in concern, but kept up our brisk pace to the car.

As we filed in, I started the car, blasting the AC and Zayn slipped in next to me after opening the door for Louis, who put down the now unconscious runner alongside him in the back seat. I quickly sped to the house, ignoring speed limits for a moment. I then frowned sadly at the thought of my now forgotten sugar filled coffee sitting on the bench. I sighed, as this was about to be a long day.


	3. Pieces

(Louis POV)

I suddenly felt so terrible for making a huge deal out of my spilled coffee. This poor girl! As I scooped her up to carry her to the car, I paused when she cried out in pain, thinking I was at fault, but she just continued to hold her stomach. She was light, easy to carry, and I noted her small frame almost instantly. When I looked down, I saw that she had finally sur-come to the pain, and had become unconscious, her head resting on my shoulder.

When we entered the car, I placed her head on my lap and allowed her the space to stretch out. As I cocked my head to the side, I admired her beauty. Her hair was a mess, different pieces of hair tucked to make a messy bun. She only wore some mascara, which was now smudged around her eyes. I looked closer at her bruises, seeing that she couldn't have gotten these from just falling.

As I played the events over in my head, I remember her frantically clutching her stomach. Thinking she was terribly hurt, I slowly eased up her sweat shirt and grasped loudly at what I saw. Harry and Zayn both turned around to see what happened. Her stomach was painfully bruised and it moved up through her rib area. There was a lump on her side that I dared not to touch.

I looked at Harry and Zayn, not knowing what to do. Then I realized Harry was still driving. I reached up and slapped his head. "Ow!" He cried while rubbing the top of his head. "Eyes on the road, Harry! The last thing we need is to get into an accident!" He grunted in reply to my remark. Zayn turned back to me, keeping her eyes on the girl and said, "I should call Ed, give him some time to get to the house." I nodded in agreement.

Ed was a good friend to all of us. After he became a doctor, he became our personal caretaker whenever something happened, so we didn't have to get involved in the press. He would surely know how to fix this girl, right?

As we pulled into our house, I quickly got out and came around the car to get the girl. Harry had practically already run inside, but Zayn stayed close, closing the door behind me. When we got inside, I decided to lay her on the couch, not knowing exactly what else to do. "Harry," I called, "Can you grab a water bottle while you are over there?" I already had a towel from the sink, trying to gently wipe of the dried blood on her face. Doing so also pulled of the light make-up she had on, reveling the extent of her injuries.

"Oh God." The three of us looked over to see Liam and Niall standing in the doorway. "What happened?" Niall asked quietly. I was about to explain our story when a light tap knocked on the door. After letting Ed in, we all went upstairs and waited.

"So what are we going to do with her?" Harry proposed after we told Liam and Niall what happened. "Well," Zayn started, "from looking at her bag, I would guess she's running away, or moving around a lot. We can offer her to stay here til she gets better. We have tons of space anyways." We all nodded in agreement. I sighed, "I just hope she is willing to talk to us. Whatever happened was obviously traumatic. Every time we moved or even _breathed _she would flinch away from our touch." I didn't even know this girl and yet I had such an urge to keep her safe. I had an eerie feeling whenever I thought of her bruises. How could someone hit her? Anger flared inside me.

Suddenly, Ed walked through the door, his face grim. He cleared his throat before continuing, "I can obviously see that this wasn't an accident like she told you. The bruising around her neck can be comparable to the force of a large hand. Although I though many of her injuries were old, her face and stomach started swelling. Whether something happened this morning, or from running into you, I can't say." He shook his head in disgust. "I gave her some fluids, but that's all I can do. She needs a lot of rest."

"What about her stomach? Did she break anything? It looked worse than my nose when _SOMEBODY hit me with a bat_!" Harry exclaimed, glaring accusingly at Liam. "Hey, when you hear someone breaking things in the kitchen at 3 a.m., the last thing you think of is that they're trying to make cookies!" All of us laughed at the memory. Harry's poor broken nose was crooked for a week. "Speaking of broken," Zayn chimed in, "What happened to her side? Is it broken?" Ed sighed, his orange hair shaking slightly. "It _**was**_." I looked at him confused. "It _was_ broken, and was never correctly fixed. So now if just slightly protrudes from her side." Harry's face went pale.

As if this information wasn't enough, Ed continued with, "Also, I took her bracelets, shirt, and pants off to see if there was further damage. She has scars, that look very self-inflicted. Some look years old, some look weeks old. I'll leave some anti-depressants as well as pain killers, but the depressants won't kick in for about a week. Just please be careful with her. Obviously her past made her very fragile."

We all headed downstairs in hopes to save this girl. Maybe if we learn a bit about her past, it will help put all these pieces together.


	4. Life Line

Jamie POV

I woke up to the sounds of light strumming from a guitar. Not only was it calming, but it was beautiful.

I smiled-bad life choice. Pain shot through my face and I flinched, moaning in discomfort. There was a loud mismatched sound from the guitar, then pairs of feet rushing towards me. _Oh no_. I opened my eyes to see two figures running towards me. I rolled over, trying to stand, but ended up slamming to the floor. I let out a sharp cry and tried clawing myself forward.

"Hey!" Someone shouted.

No! I was so close to getting away, don't stop me now! I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, trying to flip me over. _Too late._

I covered my face when I was rolled over. "_Please, please_!" I begged hoarsely. "I'm sorry, **I'm sorry**!" I felt hands clamp down on my ankles. My stomach protested every moment. I opened my eyes widely and stared down at the stranger. "Please, not again! Not again!"

I heard shushing in my ear that I tried to ignore. "**Everyone stop touching her**!" Someone finally shouted. "Obviously it's make her upset." I looked upward to see a guy smiling down at me. He looked super tan with his slick back hair, and his smile was breathtaking.

"Sorry," he apologized, "They just didn't want you to hurt yourself further. Do you mind if I help you up?" He said, offering his arms. I slightly hesitated before shaking my head.

After he settled me on the couch, they sat on the floor in front of me. I looked at them petrified. _What could they want from me? _Finally, a cute curly haired guy spoke up. "Hello!" He said sitting forward, as he did so, I moved back. He frowned, but then shook it off, replacing it with a cheerful smile. "I'm Harry. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm hoping I made a good first impression!" He said with a wink. I felt the edges of my mouth turn up slightly.

Next, the darker one, who reminded me of Jersey Shore smiled. "I'm Zayn, by the way." He said in a heavy Bradford accent. I smiled back at him. Another one leaned forward, one I haven't seen before. "I'm Liam, and you are?" He questioned with a cock of his head.

My hands suddenly felt clammy, I looked to the floor. I was almost embarrassed for being put on the spot. I took a deep breath, and was about to speak up, when the gorgeous one I remembered from the coffee shop spoke up. "It' okay, darl. You can tell us after you get to know us first." He smiled brightly at me. I felt my cheeks blush, betraying me. "I'm Louis and I'm so sorry for bumping into you earlier today. I should really watch where I'm-".

He didn't get to finished because I leaped forward in my seat, scaring most of them who flinched back before stumbling across a hurried explanation. "No, no. It's me who was at fault. I was running and wasn't paying attention. I'm so sorry about your coffee. I probably burned you. Are you okay?" Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of hurting him. But I didn't dare let them spill over.

He laughed shakily at me. "Of course I'm alright! It's you who I should be worried about." I sat back as I felt all five pairs of eyes suddenly glued on me. _Here we go, I thought. _"You said you fell and hurt yourself. You injuries are pretty bad for falling, is that all that happened?" Zayn asked quietly. They all leaned in slightly, waiting for my reply.

To their shock, I laughed. They looked at me like I was crazy before planting on a confused smile. "Sorry," I apologized, "I can be quite clumsy. When I said I fell, I meant I fell…" I paused, trying to think of something that would have caused more damage. "…down the stairs." I saw Louis shoot Zayn a dubious look. _Shit_. They weren't convinced.

I quickly decided to change the subject. "I'm sorry, thank you for letting me stay but I really should get going. I didn't mean to intrude." I stood up and tried walking away, but all too soon the room started to sway and that familiar pain came back. Two pair of hands grabbed my shoulder. "Not so fast." Zayn said. "Let's sit down and have another chat." Louis suggested.

I didn't object when they placed me down on the couch, again. "First off, what's your name love?" One of them asked. "Jamie" I said softly. "Well, Jamie," Zayn said, "We decided it's best if you kept you here while you recovered." Louis quickly added with, "If you don't mind of course."

I sighed and placed my head in my heads. I heard some whispering and when I pulled my head back up, Louis was the only one in the room. "You can talk to me Jamie. Look, I know what happened wasn't an accident. I'm here to help you. You can trust me." He gave me a sympathetic smile and a light squeezed of my hand.

When I looked down at his hand on mine, I noticed my bracelets were gone. I quickly snatched my hand away, ignoring the hurt look in his eyes. "N-no," I shuddered. "You're wrong." I lied. _You can't trust him. You can't trust anyone, I reminded myself._

My eyes opened in shock when I felt a warm tear trickle down my cheek. _So weak. _I looked down in disgust. _I'm just bothering these people. _Suddenly, a large hard came sweeping down towards my face. I gasped loudly, and scrambled away from it, basically throwing myself in Louis's lap. I hid my face in his chest, trying to stop my body from shaking.

I peeked up to see Zayn slowly backing away, arms raised as if he were surrendering. He gave a small frown and a quiet apology before leaving the room again. _He was just going to wipe your tear away, calm down._

I then realized I was sitting on Louis. But he didn't seem to mind. He had his arms around me, rubbing circles in the small of my back. For once I felt safe. Safe from the world. I sighed contently, before falling asleep.

I awoke with a start, looking around at nothing that looked familiar. "Louis," I said quietly. Scaring me, Harry's head popped up next to the bed. He smiled brightly. "Not Louis, but something much better!" He said happily. I laughed. "Can I have some water?" I asked. "You can have water, or candy, or anything you like!" Harry said cheerfully.

He helped me out of bed, but when I got to going down the stairs, I started to stumble. Suddenly I was brought up into his arms. "There we go! Don't want my pretty girl to take a fall for the worst!" I lightly swatted his chest.

When we got downstairs, he handed me a glass of water. "Oh, hello!" The blond turned around. "I'm Niall. Do you want something to eat?" He said in-between bites of food. I smiled at him. "No thanks. Not hungry." He threw a concerned look at Harry who shrugged his shoulders.

I suddenly felt dizzy and started to drink my water. I put my head down on the counter, taking deep breaths. It wasn't helping. Memories started flooding back.

"_Come back here you whore!" Dan shouted while angrily chasing me. I tripped and he gripped my ankle. "Oh no you don't!" He roughly turned me over, pinning me down on my back. He ripped my shirt off, and tugged on my jean shorts. I tried to scream but nothing came out. "Help!" I tried to yell, but it came out as a squeak. Dan pulled down my shorts before unbuckling his belt. "You're _MINE._ Do you understand that?" He pulled down his boxers, revealing his large member. He swiftly pushed inside me. I screamed. The pain was unbearable. It felt like I was being ripped apart on the inside. I built up my scream when-_

"Jamie!" Harry shouted. It was too late. I pushed his arm off of my arm and ran, stumbling up the stairs. I felt someone almost grab me. "Don't touch me!" I roared. I heard Niall calling for Louis as I crashed into the walls, losing my already unstable balance.

I made my way into the bedroom I woke up in, slammed and locked the door. I heard hurried footsteps racing up the stairs. I quickly located my duffel bag, and opened the front pocket which contained my life line. I opened the bathroom door, and huddled in the bathtub. I pulled my sleeve up.

_Slice- You're a whore._

_Slice- Look how many lives you've ruined._

_Slice- Worthless._

_Slice- You deserved it._

I paused, hearing slamming on the door. Blood was freely pouring out of my arm. I managed to get out of the bath tub and pulled myself up to the sink. I rinsed my arm off before I heard Louis's cry. "Jamie! Please, let us in love. I just want to help you." The rest chimed in with 'what's wrong' and 'please come out'. I slowly made my way over to the door.

As I turned the knob to unlock the door, there was sudden silence. I could barely hear myself breathe. Slowly the door knob turned and opened, revealing Louis and the boys. "I'm sorry," I cried. Tears I've been holding back finally streamed down my cheeks. Louis stepped forward and I gladly fell into his arms exhausted. He fell to the floor with me. The rest of the boys started to leave before I saw Niall crouch down next to me, his face stricken with horror. Without blinking he picked up my sweatered arm, which was now soaked with red. "Oh my god." He muttered.


	5. Power Rangers

Louis POV

I felt her warm tears and breath in my shirt_. Poor darling_. I gave a glance to the boys who silently shook their heads and started to leave. Niall still stood there, horror sweeping across his face. He slowly came into the room and grabbed Jamie's arm, which was out of my sight.

I was going to ask what was wrong when he brokenly mumbled, "Oh my God." He lifted Jamie's arm, which the wrist part of her sweater was completely soaked red. I barely had time to react before she pulled her arm away so violently and pulled it behind her back.

"Jamie," Niall started, "please let me have a look." She shook her head and mumbled an "I'm fine." Niall sat down in front of us and placed his hand on her leg. I felt her jump, but she didn't pull away from us. "Why would you do this to yourself Jamie." He questioned.

Little Niall looked almost as pale as his hair. I thought back to his family and I realized he probably hasn't gone through anything this traumatic before. "We'll listen to you, whatever you have to say. Right Louis?" He looked up at me. "Of course love. We are all here for you. Just let us help you bandage it so you feel better, ok?" I placed my hand on either side of her face and pulled away. I smiled down at her.

Her eyes looked distant. I wonder what dark thoughts clouded that pretty head. Niall had gone and got a warm towel and a roll of bandage. He slowly reached out and took her hand. She laid her forehead back on my chest, unable to deal with today's events. He gently rolled up her sleeve before blotting the blood away.

She had white scars, just mainly on her wrist that were still visible. The cuts she left where deep, and probably extremely painful. My stomach lurched when he cleaned inside the cut, seeing creamy fatty tissue. We both keep breathing in deeply. _Don't want to puke carrots on this girls head, I kept reminding myself._

Suddenly, she flinched violently, causing Niall and I both to jump to the high heavens and back. She hitched a moan before apologizing. Niall rapped the gauze around her wrist before taping it with a Superman band aid. "All done!" He said proudly, although his face didn't show it. I helped her to her feet.

"What would you like to do now love?" I asked. She shrugged tiredly. "Watch TV?" She suggested. Niall and I looked at each other. We smiled back at each other, knowing being alone wasn't her best option right now. I quickly picked her up in my arms and carried her downstairs to the TV room.

Jamie POV

Louis smiled down at me when he sat me down on couch. His smile didn't reach his eyes, so I gave a small frown and grabbed his arm before he left. He instantly whipped around, giving me a questioning look. I decided not to say anything, but to give him a smile instead. This time he really did smile, and laughed, softly kissing the top of my head before he left.

Dazed, I sat and watched whatever was on. Power Rangers? Odd, I haven't saw that since I was five. Instead I thought back to how nice everyone was to me. I suddenly got so overwhelmed. _No one__ has ever loved me this much. _Of course my parents loved me, that was their job. But Sam, I felt my breath escape me as I thought of my little brother. He was 16 when he… well, died. He was my best friend.

He made me laugh, all the time, and stayed home with me on some Friday nights because he knew I didn't have many friends. He was going to go into biology at Miami, a place I could never afford to go. I was so proud to be his sister' he set the high standard for our family.

"_Jamie, what was __**THAT**__?" He pointed to the screen. "That guy was right in front of you! That's when you know, __**SHOOT him**__?!" I laughed. "I don't even know how to work this thing!" I gestured down to the game remote in my hand. "I've been spinning in circles this entire game, I thought I did something right for once!" He growled sarcastically. "Shut up, and go back to spinning in circles!" Sure Sam, I thought._

I suddenly felt the couch dip next to me, and I little yelp escaped my mouth from being scared. Niall and Liam sat down to the left of me. "Sorry," then said in unison, and then smiled and before punching each other casually. "Power Rangers?" Liam inquired. "Oh," I said, my face blushing. "Good thing this is my favorite show!" Harry called over.

He leaped over the couch and landed to the right of me. Louis preceded to do the same before jumping up, doing some weird signaling in the air then turning around to us and yelling, "RANGER MORPH!" He then turned to Harry and started hitting him with the pillow. We all laughed, as it reminded me of Sam.

Sure Sam.

Sam.

Oh God.

Quietly, I got up in the middle of the chaos, and made my way carefully to my room. I barely got to my bed when the sobs started racking my body. I had only been in there a few minutes when I heard soft footsteps next to my door. After a quiet knock, the door slowly opened, and blonde hair peaked though.

I smiled up at him as Niall walked in and sat next to see. "Why are you crying Jamie?" He said after a moment. "I'm not crying." I said a bit too harshly. He just laughed it off. "You know, for having the most problems in this house, you sure are the strongest." I looked at him like he just spoke Portuguese.

"Can you talk to me at least a bit? You don't have to if you don't want to. I just want to get to know you better!" He said while running his fingers through his blonde locks. "Tell me something I don't know about you." I thought about that. "Well, I love cats. I enjoy running and listening to music. I danced for 10 years, and I hate tomatoes." He laughed the entire time. "Cats? Really? Well Harry is going to LOVE you!" He exclaimed.

After our laughing dyed down, he question changed to one I wasn't prepared for. "What are you running from?" I paled. "Is it your parents?" He was searching after I hadn't said anything. "I know how annoying they can be!" I laughed, but shook my head. "Then what's wrong love?"

"I-I-I-he-after-well-then-fire-now-stuck-" I stammered. "Hold up," he said calmly while giving my hand a light squeeze. I took a deep breath. "My boyfriend, Dan, he can, uhm, he can.." I cleared my throat, "he can be a little rough sometimes, but it's everything I deserve. I mean, he tells me all the time what I need to do, and I disobey a lot. I'm a terrible girl friend." I started shooting things out before I even knew what I was saying. "I forgot to go to the grocery once, and I didn't clean the house, and I accidently broke a glass, and I forgot to work out one day, and he said I need to take better care of his _needs-_"

"**HE WHAT**?!" Niall shot up in so much anger, I was petrified. "_He's_ the one who did this to you! How could he-"He angrily broke off with a humph, pinching the bridge of his nose. _What did I do? I thought. How could I betray Dan? He'll kill me! No one can know._

I quickly crawled over to Niall's legs and grabbed one. Tears where coming down my eyes, and I let them. I was shaking and could barely catch my breath. I have never been so scared. Dan can't hurt these people. "P-please don't say anything. I didn't mean to say anything!" I sobbed. Hoarsely I groaned, "_Oh God, he's gonna kill me._"

Niall reached down and grabbed my forearms, looking me straight in the eye he said, "No one will ever hurt you again." Suddenly the door opened, and four pairs of eyes filled with shock looked up at Niall gripping my arms tightly. Niall looked at me then back at the floor, "It's not what it looks like."


	6. Hotdogs

Jamie POV

There was silence. Dead silence before and angry growl came from Louis, causing Liam to charge forward and grab Niall, pulling him from the me. Harry and Zayn were instantly by my side, calming and soothing. Before Liam could pull Niall from my sight, I shouted, "No! You're wrong! Niall didn't hurt me!"

They all stopped and turned to me. Zayn came and put his hands were Niall's were, looking gently at me. "Jay, it's okay to say if he hurt you. We can keep him away from you. We never thought Niall would…" he faded out in his own thoughts.

Furious at his statement and my new 'nickname', I grabbed his hands and pushed him away from me. "How dare you!?" I nearly screeched. "Niall has done nothing but try to help me ever since I've stepped foot in this house! How could you think so little of him?" I rubbed my temples. "He deserves an apology. From all of you." I finally said, looked at each one of them. They all looked at the floor, like ashamed their mother caught them eating a cookie.

After they all mumbled their sorry's, they finally ran to him, embracing him in a tight hug. "I'M SORRY!" "I'M SORRY TOO!" "YOU CAN HAVE MY CARROTS!" They all ended up laughing, and sat on the floor. "It's alright lads." Niall said casually.

"What happened?" Harry asked, staring at me. "Well, she was just talking about..." Niall had started but ended up stopping when Harry bounced up and came over to me, looking in my eyes before looking directly down at my wrist. My sleeves had ridden up after sobbing to Niall, revealing my white gauze that had small spots of red seeping though.

"What happened?" Harry asked again. I didn't know what to say. I never had to explain myself. "Did you try to kill yourself?" He questioned while starting to unwind the gauze. "No, no." I quickly said, laying my hand on top of his. I looked behind Harry to Niall and gave him a pleading look. "Niall?" I asked softly.

I knew Harry cared, but didn't feel comfortable if he saw. But too soon, the gauze fell to the floor and he looked at me like I was insane. _I felt disgusting_, showing him something he clearly didn't want to see. He was clearly repulsed, and covered his gaping mouth so he wouldn't get sick.

Tears prickled at my eyes when he looked into mine. _Judgment_. Niall was already at my side, sighing before saying, "She was upset Harry. This is how she learned to cope with her problems a long time ago. She can't help it." He had gotten a new bandage before wrapping it around my wrist again. His finger slid over my skin with such a gentleness.

"Was it something we did?" Liam asked quietly. "Oh no," I quickly corrected. "Please, never think it. There's just been a lot going on lately. Especially with being here." There was a silence then, and as if on cue, Niall's stomach growled, earning a laugh from us all.

I looked down at the concoction Harry made for me: A hotdog with all the fixings, a heap of mac and cheese, a large chocolate substance which could be a brownie, and carrots and celery. I gulped, loudly. Food scared me. _Almost as much as Dan_. But I am **starving**. I started to calorie count in my head. I took out the hotdog, scraped everything off of it, and cut it into pieces. I put a small bite in my mouth, chewed quickly, and swallowed, taking a large drink of water after. One down, eight to go.

After my fifth bite, I felt sick. Processed meat, fat, calories; they all added up in my mind. I looked down the table to see them all talking and politely waiting for me. "I'm sorry, you guys can leave. My stomach hurts, so it might take a bit longer." _You didn't lie, I thought. I just knew they would take it the wrong way._

They all got up, but Niall stayed, sitting across from me. I picked up another piece, breathed then threw it in my mouth, chopped, swallowed, and drank more water. Niall looked amused. "Does it really hurt that bad?" I tried not to glare. "Yes." I said flatly. _Every calorie hurts. _I continued to eat, daring not to touch the chocolate or mac and cheese.

"I'll have to remember to never give you a hot dog again so you don't have to hyperventilate before you eat it." I flashed my eyes up to him, but decided to save my hi from my rude remark. He shaked his head, his blonde hair following his movements. "Not until you tell me what's _really_ going on. I can't help, unless I know."

I held up one of the hot dog pieces. "It's disgusting." I said sickly. Niall's face blanked. "Oh. If you don't like hot dogs, you should have said something earlier!" He said, reaching for my plate. I grabbed his hand lightly, testing my limits. "No, you don't understand. This hotdog? Disgusting. This mac and cheese? Disgusting. This?" I said, pointing to the brownie. "_Oh god_." I moaned, thinking of all the terrible bindging that would come after eating it.

"So, you hate all types of food. Not just hot dogs?" He looked confused and upset. I felt bad, insulting the one thing he likes best. "These I like!" I held up my carrots and celery. He gave a large smile, but still looked at me, waiting for an explanation. "I just hate what they do. I'll get so fat." I mumbled while looking down. I could hear his chair squeak and the slaps of his bare feet coming around to meet me.

"Fat? You're anything but fat! You're so fit, you have hardly any fat on your body!" I shot out of my chair, yanking up my shirt. I pulled on my bruised stomach, wincing, then getting a little pinch of skin to come between my fingers. "You call _**THIS**_ skinny?" I scoffed, pulling pitching in a few other places, before letting my shirt fall down. "I'm so fucking ugly**, I could puke**."

Suddenly, Niall's hands were around me, grasping me in a huge hug. _I see why they are so popular, I thought._ His hands slid down my back to my stomach. "You're insecure. Don't know what for." He shrugged his shoulders and made a face. I giggled. "You turn heads when you walk through the door. Don't need make-up, to cover up." He gently slid the back of his hand down my cheek. "Being the way you are is enough."

He slowly turned me around, showing our reflections in the mirror. He sat his chin on my shoulder and gave me a smile that sent sparks through my veins. "If only you saw what I can see, you'll understand why I want you so desperately. Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe," He turned me towards him, slowly leaning closer. "You don't know, no oh." He voice vibrated against my lips. "You don't know you're beautiful." Soft lips touched mine. _I swore I wouldn't let myself go, to ever feel again, but my heart betrayed my cluttered mind. _


	7. Broken Glass

Jamie POV

I still felt cold. I shivered where his warmth once use to be. _He pulled away to give me space so I don't get hurt._ All I feel is like I've just been stamped on the forehead with a red 'REJECT' sticker. I sat up in bed, feeling blindly in the dark for Harry's sweatshirt he left me. Harry's the smallest one, so I've just been borrowing his things for now.

I slowly moved down the stairs, still sore from a few days ago. I pulled a glass out of the cupboard and filled it up with water. I looked out the window at the horizon. It was still dark outside, but if you squinted hard enough, you could see some light coming up.

I wonder if that's how my life will be. Squinting in the dark, waiting for the light to come. I sighed. _I can't hide forever._ I thought about the day I would have to leave these bricks walls, my safe haven. I started shaking in fear of what would become of me then. Dan's out there. He could be anywhere. Even here.

_Creak. _I jumped and spun around. Please no, I _must_ be dreaming. I let out a soft hiss as I pinched myself harshly. _Fuck, not asleep. Creeeek. _"H-hello?" I whispered quietly.

Silence.

I turned back towards the window and breathed deeply. _Jesus, calm down! _I moved to put the glass back in the sink when something cold touched my back. I whipped around, and saw Harry standing sleepily in front of me. My hand flew to my chest, feeling relief spread through me. However, it was short lived when my glass suddenly hit the floor.

Harry POV

'mmmm.' I woke up smiling as I recalled my dream on the beach. My smile widened when I remembered all those _girls_. "Lovely, lovely, lovely." I muttered to myself. I suddenly realized how hot I was and ripped my blankets off. I crossed my legs and put my hands behind my head, 'ahhhh.'

I cleared my throat and realized how thirsty I was. I groaned in the thought of having to get up and walk all the way downstairs to just get a glace of water. But, I heaved myself out of bed and walked to the top of the stairs. I stretched upward, onto the balls of my feet and the floor beneath me creaked. I didn't care, those four guys could sleep through almost anything. To further prove my point, I stepped slowly on the spot, giving a loud creek thought out the house. No one stirred. _Point=proven_.

As I rounded the kitchen, I stopped as I saw Jamie standing at the sink. "Jamie?" She didn't respond. I felt bad for earlier, I shouldn't have reacted that way when I knew she was in pain, but I had hoped my hotdog had made up for it. _Guess not_. I rubbed my eyes and walked over to her, touching her back. She jumped and whirled around, dropping her glass in the process.

I would have just shrugged it off and had gotten a drink and gone back to my slumber, but she suddenly fell to her knees, shaking so hard, she looked like a blur. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! She yelled while she sloppily started scooping bits of glass into her hands. After a few moments, I saw her hand was bleeding. I reached down to grab it. "You don't have to-" but when my hand touched her, she flung herself back up into the lower cupboard next to her. "I'll clean it up, just please don't hit me." She brokenly whispered. "Hit you?" I ran my hand angrily throough my curls. "For God's sake, you broke a glass!" She lifted the bits of glass in her hands, and started to cry. "I know." She replied.

"That's my point, it's just a glass Jamie." She didn't seem to understand, so I huffed a sigh. Then I got an idea, I reached up into the cupboard and got a glass, held it out, then let it fall carelessly to the ground. She flinched back a good foot and looked up at me like I was out of my mind. "Just a glass," I repeated.

She looked at the ground and back up at me. "You're not mad." It wasn't a question, _it was like she was trying to make herself believe it. _She then decided to go back to cleaning up the floor. Having enough, I hoisted her up and walked to the bathroom with her. When I put her hand under the faucet, she hissed. "Sorry," I mumbled. I pulled out a Superman band aid and placed it over the cut.

I pulled her down the hallway to my room. I plopped down on the bed, exhausted from this little event. I padded the space next to me, she laid down, to my surprise. I cleared my throat, finding it still dry. She suddenly got up. _Fine_, I thought as I rolled over. I was almost asleep when I heard her fast approaching footsteps. I felt her sit back down on the bed, and I could almost feel her hesitation before she lightly tapped my shoulder.

I rolled over. "What now?" In the dim light, I saw her smile weakly before raising her hand which had a cup of ice water. I eagerly took it and gulped it down. I looked back at her, all curled up, far away from me as possible. _She's such a sweet girl. _I then thought back to our conversation.

"Jamie?" I whispered and watched as her eyes snapped open. "What do you want Styles?" She said hoarsely. Was she going to cry? **I felt like a dick**. I leaned forward slightly. "Thank you," I offered. She slightly smiled before closing her eyes.

"Did he always do that?" I asked without thinking. She looked at me confused. "Do what?" I thought about how to phrase it, but just decided to say what was on my mind. This girl was a mystery. I don't even know her last name! "Hit you when you broke something." Her eyes instantly went to a distant place and she laughed an unemotional laugh. It was almost scary.

"I didn't necessarily have to break something, but yes, he did." She kept her eyes on my, gaging my reaction I guess. "Who's he?" She simply said, "My boyfriend, Dan." I gave her credit. I'd probably still be rocking in a ball while sobbing in a corner somewhere. "Well, he's an ass." I commented harshly. "I know." She said softly. "Sleep Jamie," I said looking at her now tired eyes. She continued to stare at me until I gave a half smile. She then shut her eyes, and I turned over happily, hoping to continue my previous dream.

Jamie POV

"JAMIE!" Someone screamed. I heard Louis's panicked voice. "Something happened and I can't find her!" I groaned and rolled over, bringing the pillow on top of my head. I opened my eyes to see Harry's face barely an inch away from mine. I jumped, but relaxed from being so tired. "Looks like we both had the same idea." He said huskily. "Maybe if we stay here long enough, he'll just go away." I whispered back.

Before I could even relish the idea, the door slammed open. I was suddenly scared, being in this position too many times before. My eyes connected with Harry's. He looked sadly at me. "Relax, it's just Lou-". But Louis jumped up on the bed tugging at my sheets. "_She's gone_ Harry! **GET UP YOU LAZY ASS**! We have to find her!" I sat up, and Louis gulped, realizing he straddled the wrong person. But he was flooded with relief and threw his arms around me.

"Ow, ow, ow." I mumbled in his shirt. "What happened? And why are you with Harry?" He shot a glare at the still sleeping lump next to me. I smoothed out my hair. "We just talked last night." I simply stated. He looked unconvinced. "Just talked? There's glass and blood all over the kitchen. Not to mention you're in his bed." Jealously leaked into his last statement, but I felt worried he might get upset I didn't reply.

Harry took this opportunity to make his appearance. "Louis, I dropped a glass, she tried picking it up, and accidently cut her hand. I took care of it. She stayed here. Now leave." He said with a wave of the hand as he plopped back down on the bed. Louis reached out and grabbed my hand, examining it. I pulled it away. "I'm fine Louis. I'm sorry about the mess, I'll clean it up."

I rolled out of bed in Harry's sweatshirt and boxers to see a very worried Niall in the doorway. "You alright?" He asked. I nodded, looking back at Harry and then him. "And this," I motioned between me and Harry, but before I could explain, he stepped forward stroking my cheek. He smiled and simply stated, "I heard and understand." With a happy sigh, I placed my forehead on his chest and soon felt his fingers slide though my hair.

Finally, everything was looking upward for once.


	8. I Tried

Niall POV

It's been a week since Jamie started staying with us. Ed was right; you could really see her start to bloom. She still had her moments, flinching or whimpering when someone moved too fast or accidently scared her. But we learned to adapt to her quirks. Throughout all of this, she still has a strong front about her, swearing she's fine. Some nights, I'd see the pain behind her eyes and catch the dry lines of left over tears on her face in the morning.

She still alternated sleeping with the boys, which didn't bother me. I don't want to push her too far. I remember the night she slept with me, _God_, she was heaven in my arms. She whimpered in her sleep that night, and I'd sing until she was still again, sweeping her hair from her sweaty brow.

We didn't really touch each other after I kissed her that night in the dining room. I wanted her to concentrate on helping herself. But I wouldn't let her go unnoticed without several side smiles and laughs during the day. I would notice the glares I got from Louis every time I had any contact with her. He has become very protective of her lately, leaving me to stomp off to play guitar whenever he would hold her too tight or too close.

We now sat cross-legged on my bed while I strummed the guitar. She casually hummed along, carrying the tune perfectly. I sang along and stopped abruptly when she softly sang in harmony next to me. Her singing, just like her voice was so clear and fit her perfectly. I looked up at her, and she moved away. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I didn't mean to ruin it." She bowed her head in shame.

I placed my hand on her leg and smiled when she didn't back away. "No. Do that again." Confusion clouded her eyes. "What?" I laughed at her deer eyes. "Sing again, it was beautiful." I saw red creep onto her cheeks. _She's blushing!_ "Oh no, I can't sing. I used to, but not anymore." I thought about that. Instead of asking more questions she was obviously uncomfortable handling, I simply started to strum again.

Disappointed the song was almost over, and she hadn't made a peep, I was surprised when her voice softly rang around the room. "Cause we're just under the upper hand and go mad for a couple of grams, and she don't want to go outside tonight. And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland, or sells love to another man."

I faded out, as she took the next line, ending the song. "It's too cold outside for angels to fly. To fly, to fly, or angels to die." Before I could compliment her, she bounded up from the bed and headed out of the room. I quickly set down my guitar, jogging down the hallway to try to find her.

"Jamie?" Liam's door opened. "What's wrong mate?" He leaned on his door frame looking around. "Jamie just ran out. I don't know what happened." He placed his hand on his chin thinking. "I think I know, come on." He turned and walked down the stairs.

Liam stopped when we reached the bathroom door. "She was in here yesterday too" Looking at me, he shrugged, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

I knocked softly. "Jamie?" I could barely make out a sniffle. "J-just a minute." Her voice came out choked. A part of me wanted me to break down the door and wrap her in my arms, pouring out the love I've been holding in.

"Can I come in?" She didn't respond, so I slowly turned the doorknob, letting myself in. When I stepped in, she angrily wiped her tears away. _Someone so wonderful shouldn't be so broken. _I slid down on the wall next to her, close enough that we were lightly touching.

I noticed that she was fiddling with something in her hands, and when she turned them, I saw a piece of metal in her fist. I grabbed her hands placing them in my lap. "Talk to me Jamie, don't hold it all in."

"I'm so weak. I can't deal with it and it makes me so angry, that I'm not stronger." She said on the verge of another round of tears. "I'm sorry, I should have talked to you instead." Bowing her head, she looked down at her wrists. I pulled them up, confused.

"But you didn't hurt yourself. You did well, Jamie!" I smiled at her. She laid her head on my forearm. "You will hate me for disappointing you." She sobbed. "But not nearly as much as I already hate myself!" She rolled up, placing her head in her hands.

"Jamie, I couldn't hate you. Why would you say such blabber?" I stroked her brown silky waves, losing myself in their softness. She frowned and reached her hand over to her sweatshirt, pulling it up. She revealed three long cuts across her hip. "I tried." She mumbled.

"You didn't disappoint me. It's okay. It just hurts that you would turn to that," I said, pointing to the razor in her hand, "instead of coming to me." She wouldn't meet my gaze, so I tilted her chin up. "Promise me, next time, you'll come to me." She nodded. I bandaged her side, gave her some pain medication, and then carried her to my bed.

Thinking she was asleep, I started to leave when I felt her small hand desperately clutch my shirt. "Thank you." She choked out, "for being there." Two small tears floated down her face. My heart broke for this girl. "Anything for you, Jamie." I said, before wiping away her tears, placing a kiss on her forehead, and closing the door behind me.

Jamie POV

I woke up to the bed being empty. I frowned in disappointment, but when I thought how kind Niall was today, I smiled. When I rolled over, I could start to hear chatter coming from downstairs. The harder I tried to listen, the more I realized there was probably more people here than just the boys.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I made my way to the kitchen. I was barely down the stairs when I heard, "And thereeee she issssss. Jaaaaaaaaaaaamie!" Louis practically sang. There were about four more guys standing around, and I saw two girls chatting with Liam and Zayn in the corner.

Louis bounced over, and came in for a kiss, which I had to quickly turn my head so he didn't kiss my lips. I backed away, feeling uncomfortable, even though I know he was just wasted. I made my way into the kitchen to get a glass of water. "Hey baby, can I get you something?" A muscular bronze man said, stepping closer. _Breathe, I reminded myself._

"Sure, just water." I said calmly, trying to smile. Just then Niall rounded the corner, laughing loudly. "Oh, hey! Everything okay?" He asked, eyeing the man who turned and gave me my water and left in a huff. I let him wrap his arms around me. I felt much safer. "Yeah, I was just thirsty. I'm going back to bed." I turned and ran my hand through his blonde locks. "Have fun." I whispered in his ear. He laughed and kissed my cheek.

As I made my way back to bed, I started feeling very sleepy. Something felt wrong. I looked down the stairs in the direction I came. I held my head and I saw Louis pass the stairs with glasses in his hands. "Louis, can you come here?" He smiled up at me. "Sure thing, darl. Let me pass out these drinks, and I'll be up in a few." I started to, what felt like, drag myself up the rest of the stairs to my room.

I had just stepped in, when arms wrapped around my waist. I jumped, then laughed. "Niall, you scared-" I started, but when I turned around I found Niall wasn't the person holding tightly to me. I screamed, but it got cut off by his large hand holding my mouth. "Hello _love_" he spat before throwing me on to my bed.

I tried sitting up, but I was too dizzy to even see straight. I heard a familiar _clink_ and _clack_, and tried wrapping my foggy brain around it. I started to shake with fear when a placed the sound.

A belt buckle.


	9. Saved

Jamie POV

I tried scooting backwards, but his tan hand grabbed my ankle, pulling me to the floor. I groaned when I fell harshly on my back, but when I looked up, I saw that he was the man who had offered me a drink downstairs that now stood over me.

Suddenly he was on top of me, holding my hands at my sides. He crashed his lips to mine, and I tried to squirm away, until he grasped my jaw with his hand and painfully held my face in place. I bit his lip and he pulled back with a grunt, blood dripping from his mouth. I was suddenly backhanded so hard, I seemed to move backwards.

I held my face in pain when he grabbed my wrist, trying to pull me up, when he looked down at his grasp. "What's this?" He asked, pointing to my healing red scars. He raised an eyebrow. "Like pain, don't you lovely?" I tried slapping him, but he caught my arm and swung me by into the wall. Pain pulsed through my body, and heard myself let out a small scream.

He pushed up against me, his hard member pushing against my leg and stomach. He then pushed down on my shoulders, my weak knees giving out. As he held me in place with one hand, his other hand unzipped his pants and pulled himself out. He squeezed my mouth, trying to open it. I shook my head. "No." I said sternly. "Go find a slut on the streets who might actually find you attractive."

His eyes flared with anger, hitting me across the face again. "Looks like I need to teach you a lesson." He grabbed my hair, and threw me back on the bed_. I'm so tired, he must have put something in my water! _I tried to push up, but he held me down. Being on my stomach made this so much harder.

He ripped off my shorts and spread my legs with his knee. "You see love, you _are_ the whore. Don't you see how everyone in this house looks at you? We all know you're the boy's little sex toy." He pulled my panties out of the way, and thrust harshly into me. "And I'm about to make you mine."

The pain was almost unbearable. He was so _big_, and every time I tried to adjust, he slammed into me again. His hands were hard as they bit into my shoulders and clawed at my hips and thighs. He snaked his hands around my neck then , and started to constrict my breathing. As I felt myself slip away, he stopped, turning me on my back. I froze in pain, and to my embarrassment, started to cry.

He turned my head to face his. "You. Are. Worthless." He said with harsh thrusts to make his point. I still felt my body starting to shut down to block out the pain. "These boys probably don't even want you here. Think how bad you are going to make their image." His statements hurt, almost more than what his actions did. _Their image? What image?_

He took advantage of my quietness. "Oh?" He inquired. "They didn't tell you that they are the biggest boy band in the world?" I tried to hide my surprise. _They were famous?_ "And now they have to worry about is the slut that out stays her welcome." He spit, literally in my face. I flinched. Anger flared in me, giving me the energy to backhand him.

He raised his fist and brought it down, but stopped an inch from my face when a loud knock rang around the room. He froze. "Jamie? What's going on? Are you alright?" I looked at the man above me and whimpered. "Harry," I said, although it came out as a horse whispered. I cleared my throat and tried again. "HAR-" his large hand flew over my mouth. His hand came to my neck, squeezing the air out of me. I scratched his hand, and felt him pull out of me.

I could still hear Harry, "Jamie? Jamie!" I heard him call for the boys. As I was about to go unconscious, I ripped my knee up, effectively hitting him in the jewels. "Harry!" I heard a thud, and looked up to see Liam and Harry in the doorway. The tna man still held onto my waist and I reached out a hand for Harry. Liam immediately came over, pushing bronzey against the wall. "_WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"_ Harry screamed. "She wanted it," was his excuse. Harry was next to me. "Jamie, Jamie?" He said frantically, trying to pull me up.

He started to pull me up, when I whimpered, scaring him a bit. "It's okay, it's just me Jamie!" He said pointed to himself, thinking I was frightened. I shook my head. I hurt, almost everywhere, and moving just made it a thousand times worse. He tried again. "Stop, stop, stop." I begged. "It hurts." His hands hovered helplessly. "Where? What hurts?" He asked, just as Louis ran in.

"_Oh God." _He swore and came next to Harry. "What happened?" Harry told him he'll explain later. "Just tell me what hurts," Harry said softly. I shook my head, unable to put what had just happened in words. Tears escaped my eyes knowing I'd have to be moved. I took a deep breath and nodded at Harry and he slowly started lifting me. I tried not to cry out in pain, and ended up sobbing instead. I felt Louis take my hand in his. And then I was in Harry's arms being carried. I realized I just had my panties and sweatshirt on.

"Wait, I need shorts." I blushed. Louis left my side, grabbing my shorts. He slid them on and stopped when he saw angry bruises and claw mark around and in my thighs. He slipped them on quickly before punching the wall next to us. "That bastard, _that __**BASTARD**_!" He roared. "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop him." I offered. Harry's hands suddenly tightened around me, then we were moving quickly to the kitchen.

Harry sat me at the bar. Even though the stool was cushioned, it hurt. He pulled away looking at me to see how badly injured I was. I could almost feel his eyes roaming. I leaned forward, placing my head on the cool marble countertop. Harry got a cold wet towel and laid it cheek. I hissed but it felt so good.

"Where's Niall?" Harry sat next to me. "They are taking care of Jeff. Since Louis went outside now, I'm guessing it might be a bit." I sighed. "Did he really r-rape you?" Harry asked, holding my hand. My eyes flooded with tears. I nodded my head. "But, but _why_?" He barely managed. I sniffled. "I don't know. He thought I was the whore of the house. He made sure to show me my place!" I said, crying.

He was suddenly hugging me. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve it. And I couldn't even imagine.." He said, shaking his head. "But Jamie, he's so wrong. You're _such_ a lovely girl. We would never even think about degrading you like that."

"I just feel so..disgusting." I bowed my head with shame. "No one will ever want to touch me again." Harry blew out a big gust of air. "No, I think you're wrong. They won't think of you that way. We all still love you, Jamie." I tried to give him my best smile.

The back door suddenly flew open, and I jumped, grabbing Harry's arm as I hissed from moving. He shushed me and stroked my hair. I folded my arms and placed my head inside, not wanting anyone to see me like this. "They won't judge you, Jamie. None of this was your fault." Harry whispered and I tensed as I heard footsteps enter the room.

My breathing hitched as I looked up at Niall. I started getting choked up again as I saw the burning pain in his eyes. He slowly came over, his eyes never leaving mine until he saw the my bruised face. With a trembling hand, he lifted the cloth on the counter and sat beside me. He slowly dabbed away some of the dried blood on my face as softly as possible.

His eyes frantically looked for something in mine. His hand dropped the towel, and he placed a shaky hand over his mouth. Tears escaped his eyes and fell over his fingers to the floor. He then pulled me into a hug, his hands around my shoulders. I sobbed. I felt so bad that they all had to go through this.

I heard Niall start to frantically apologize, and I pulled away, still desperately clinging to his shirt. "No, Niall. No." I shook my head at him. "I should have come up when you asked. This wouldn't have happened." Louis said angrily. I sighed, "You don't know that. What happened, happened. We just have to move on."

"But he hurt you, Jamie. You can't just bounce back from that." Zayn said, using his hands to emphasis how upset he was. I looked down at my hands. "It happened a lot, with Dan. So believe when I say I'll live." Zayn's fist pounded the countertop. "This happened to you before and you're just telling us about it now?" He huffed. "We could have helped you. Could have _**protected**_ you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, the next conversation we have, I'll make sure to start off with: 'Yeah, I've been raped and beaten for the past three years by my _**boyfriend**_, but my overwhelming guilt won't let me leave his side!'" I was raging with anger. How dare they expect me to tell them my life story the first week I've met them. I didn't care to notice how they flinched back at my hard voice.

Niall still stayed next to me, keeping me grounded. "We didn't know, Jamie. We're all brothers here, we could have tried to help you." Liam said. "I'm sorry," I breathed. "Coping isn't my strong suit. And none of you deserve that. I understand you were just trying to help. Thank you, for taking care of _**him**_." I motioned to the door, not daring to give that disgusting man a name.

"Of course!" Harry said. Louis brought down some band aids and taped up my bleeding eyebrow, and side, but left Niall to help take care of my bruised thighs. He put cold towel around them, and sat silently by my side. "How will you be?" He asked softly. "Fine, it just takes some days to recover." He kissed the inside of my bruised palm. His warm tears lingering there.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I should have walked you up. I can't even image.." He dropped him face into his hands, soft sobs shaking his body. "I keep seeing it in my mind, you screaming for me, and I'm not there! _I'm __**not**__ there_." His Irish accent was much thicker when he cried. I had to really listen to what he was saying. I wrapped my sore arms around him and hushed him.

"It wasn't like that. I don't give up that easily. We fought for the most part." I tried to joke. He looked up at me, surprised. My strong façade gave way when I saw the depth of pain written across his face. "I just need you now, here." I grabbed his hand and laid it on my chest. "_Please don't leave me now._" I begged.

He pulled me into his arms, crying equally as much as I was. He picked me up, and laid my on the couch with the other boys. We all fell asleep there. Together in one room. I have never felt so safe around people I loved. I thought I was asleep, then again I could be dreaming, when I heard Niall softly sing, _"I wanna save you, wanna save your heart tonight. He'll only break you, leave you torn apart. I can't be no superman, but for you I'll be super human. I wanna save you, save you, save you tonight."_

I whispered. "Silly Niall." I could almost feel his silky hair brush on my cheek. I smiled through my tears. "You've already saved me."


	10. Grapes

Jamie POV

I sat at the breakfast bar while Liam made breakfast for all of us. We chatted casually about what was happening today, and I could tell how hard they were trying to keep my mind off of the events from last night. Harry sat the plate in front of me, and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

Not only were there three different kinds of meat, but there were a good four eggs, two pieces of toast, and a large variety of fruit. I stuck with the fruit. Niall glanced over almost every time I took a bite of something. I played around with the rest of it, making it look like I ate some of it. "Now Jamie, you have to eat more than that! I didn't slave away all morning for nothing." Liam joked, but everyone turned to stare at me. Niall just rubbed my back.

_You can do this, I thought. It's just food. And fat. And calories. And sugar. But food. _I picked up a sausage. My stomach turned. _Deep breath, just think about Niall_. I then rapidly started piling food in my mouth, and finished first in the group. "Woah." Harry looked at my plate wide eyed. "She even beat Niall!" Everyone laughed.

I patiently waited til everyone was done and left to get ready. Zayn still remanded, watching TV while keeping an eye on me for Niall. I lifted up my shirt and saw the large bulge in my stomach from all the food I ate. I ripped my shirt down, and almost started to cry_. I look like a whale!_

"What's wrong Jamie?" I turned to look at Zayn, who was leaning forward on the bar towards me. "I just- I can't keep this in." I put a hand over my mouth and made a fast exit towards the bathroom. I had barely shut the door when Zayn pushed it back open. He stood in the doorway while I fell to my knees in front of the toilet. "What are you doing?" He asked concerned as he came next to me. The churning fat in my stomach suddenly meant more than my ego. I weakly tried to push him away, shoving my other hand down my throat.

I felt him grab fistfuls of my hair out of my way, as I plunged my fingers repeatedly to the back of my throat, letting my breakfast splatter into the toilet. After a while, Zayn shook my shoulder, trying to pull me up. "Jamie, there's nothing left. Come on." He effortlessly lifted me to the sink where I cleaned up and brushed my teeth.

I then looked at myself in the mirror, degrading myself with my eyes. I pulled on my cheeks and made sure my stomach was flatter now by squeezing and pressing. "Look at me Jamie." I glanced up. His eyes where burning, but I couldn't place the emotion behind them.

"You have to stop doing this to yourself." He ran an aggravated hand through his hair. "I always thought something more was going on when you turned down meals. This morning, I couldn't believe it when you started eating all of that. But when I _really_ looked at you, I could see your pain and determination to get that food in your mouth as quickly as possible." He sighed heavily. "You're already _**so**_ skinny! I know you don't see it, but you are. And now," he took a hold of my hand, "You still have to eat something else."

We walked back to the kitchen, and he opened up the fridge. "Hmmm." He looked back at me and then to the fridge, making me smile and roll my eyes. Finally, he pulled out a bag, and counted something I couldn't see into a bowl. "_One, three, five,…_" He turned back with a huge smile on his face, placing a bowl of very large red grapes in front of me. "Fifteen grapes. You can do that, right?" I looked down them, and picked one up, placing it in my mouth, chewing slowly. The cold liquid covered my mouth, it tasted good, but I know fruits just equal sugar.

I took two more out and placed them in front of me and pushed the bowl back to his side. He pouted. "How about you have to eat a grape for every question you don't answer." I sighed, but agreed.

"How old are you?" "Nineteen."

"How old is your…_**boyfriend**_?" He spat the word at me. "Twenty seven." He raised his eyebrows, but moved on.

"When did you start dating?" I took a grape and ate it angrily. He laughed loudly at me. "Okay, I take it as you skip that one." I nodded.

"Do you have any siblings?" I opened my mouth, but clamped it shut, remembering Sam was _**dead**_. _Remember, you have no family. _I ate another grape. He cocked his head, thinking.

"What do you like doing? What makes you happy?" I shifted in my seat. "Well, I use to dance and play the piano. I also like reading and running."

"Why don't you dance anymore?" "I got fat." I answered. He pointed at me. "That's not the truth, and you know it." He said, almost harshly. "Fine." I took another grape and reluctantly put it in my mouth.

He leaned his hip on the counter. "You said you don't leave Dan because you feel guilty. Is it something you did that made you feel that way?" I felt myself tense. "No." I shortly replied.

"Why don't you like letting people in Jamie?" I lowered my eyes, from his searching ones. I raised my hand and put it on where my heart is. "It hurts." That's the best answer I had. "It hurts to let people in? Do you not trust people?" He asked again. I shook my head. "It hurts to tell them…about things that have happened." I blinked rapidly at the tears I felt looming in my eyes. "It hurts very much. I'm weak, I can't do it alone." I felt his warm hand cover mine.

I looked up into his dark gleaming eyes. "You'll never have to." He then changed the subject. "Are you well with music?" I was about to answer when Niall interrupted me from the doorway. "She can sing!" He exclaimed with a smile. I blushed. "Can you?" Zayn asked. I laughed, "I'm not good, at all. Niall is giving me way too much credit."

"Let me be the judge!" Harry suddenly exclaimed. "X-FACTOR AUDITIONS!" He bellowed and sat at the bar with Louis. "Up first, could they be the best musical partners, NIALL AND LIAM!" Louis exclaimed. Niall walked up and with his guitar, and Liam joined him singing a mellow song that I had never heard. But it was all the more beautiful. They both had such wonderful voices, and you could see how into the music they were. We all applauded at the end. Harry gave them a two, and Louis gave them a seven.

"NEEEEEEEEEEXT!" Louis screamed, his voice breaking. I walked to the adjacent room, sitting at the piano. After playing a few scales. I muttered, "You should have sold ear plugs before the show." I heard someone laugh, then a thump and a muted 'ouch!' I slowly started the intro before letting the familiar fire flow through my veins. _How long has it been? _The words started tumbling out of my mouth.

"_**I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart. But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start. You put your arms around me, and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms around me and I'm home**__."_ I continued to sing, thinking of all the times I sang at home. Enjoying every moment, every note, like it was a part of me.

"_**I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth. And I've never opened up, I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me. And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling." **_Those words rung so true, and I suddenly stopped, not finished with the song, and not turning to face the boys.

"Sorry," I mumbled. There was suddenly a rain on applause that filled the room. I glanced up to see them all standing, smiling and whistling, and Harry bounced towards me. "Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL I tell you!" He picked me up and twirled me around. When he put me down, I felt Niall grab ahold of my arms. "Hey now, not too much excitement Harry." Niall joked as the room spun. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "Told you!" He then said, laughing.

"Alright, let's get going." Louis checked his watch. "Well, we're already late." He shrugged. "Oh well, they can't fire us anyhow!" He laughed, before Liam elbowed him. Louis turned to me. "Put on your shoes love, you're coming with us." I was then pushed towards the door. Niall rushed to explain. "Me, Louis, and Liam have some work to do, so Harry and Zayn said they would take you shopping." Harry added, "Yeah, I hardly have any boxers left!" I laughed as his voice went up an octave from distress. Poor Harry had earlier expressed his hatred of doing laundry.

I put on my sunglasses, slipped on a sweater, leggings, and UGGS before coating my bruised face with make-up. Harry and Zayn hooked their arms in either side of mine as we walked to a separate car. I looked back at the house and Niall. I left my safe haven. No turning back now.

Author Note: Please, please review. I'm begging! I've been getting complaints on why these chapters are posted so late and I apologize. Some of this is really hard for me to write. That, or I erase everything and start all over. For example, I started at 9:30 p.m. tonight, and I am just typing this at 2:24 a.m. I put a lot of thought into these, thinking on how I want things to be played out. I would also like to thank Ella for all her kind words. Not only does it help me want to write more for you lovely people, but it reminds me of how caring people can be about others work and the time we put into them. I almost got 1,000 reads on a fanfic site, so thank all of you so much! xxoo


	11. Cats

Harry POV

I could tell Jamie was a little tense when we got into the car. I let Zayn drive, and I sat in the back with her to my left. We were barely in the car five minutes, and I swear Zayn's head was like a bobble head, every few seconds looking in the mirror back at her. I finally flipped him off, and he laughed, causing him to break check down the street. Jamie's hands clamped firmly on the seats, and Zayn quietly apologized.

"Aren't you excited at all?" I asked her. "It's in your DNA to like this sort of thing." I didn't mind shopping, but now there wasn't any use for it. My mangers and wardrobe bought me everything so I didn't have to get bombarded by fans. "It's alright." She commented. "I haven't been shopping in years, so I'm hoping it is as fun as I remember." She smiled, but my face dropped.

"What?" I asked. She looked confused. "_What?_" I stared at her wide eyed. "You're a girl and you haven't been shopping in _**years**_?! What's wrong with you?" I felt her forehead. "I think you have a temperature." She busted out laughing along with Zayn. I could see the hint of tears in her eyes and her shaking form bent over, trying to control herself. "Phew!" She said sitting up, and punching me. "OUCH." I rubbed my arm. "That really hurt." She glared at me "Stop complaining Styles."

We entered the strip that had several popular stores on it. I looked around, visibly relaxing when I didn't see any fans. Zayn and I both had on loose hats, shades, and large jackets to try and protect us, but mostly Jamie. We got out of the car, and helped her out, hooking our arms into her small ones. "Is it weird to be nervous?" She asked quietly. I couldn't see her eyes, but could tell she was worried. "No, we'll help you pick something out. I've got a great style sense, hence the last name." I winked at her and she slapped my arm.

When we walked in, she was drawn to a section in the back, and Zayn followed her, while I stayed up front. I looked around, until something caught my eye. "Well isn't this lovely." I murmured, and then smiled, seeing Jamie's reaction in my head. I walked over to the pants, and realized I didn't know what size she wore, so I picked up some leggings instead. I starting jogging around, trying to pick out things to make my outfit better than Zayns. I kinda liked it.

I put everything on the chair and stood back and looked at it. cgi/set?id=65643895 _Oh yes, she'll love it._ Zayn came around the corner, holding: cgi/set?id=65645413 "Harry," he complained. "I don't think she's going to wear something with a large cat on the front of it." I whipped around to face him. "SHE LIKES CATS." I said to his face. "Okay, okay." He gave up with a huff and I smiled brightly. Jamie came around the corner with just a pair of shoes in her hand.

I gawked at her. "An hour of shopping, and you managed to get a pair of shoes. Well done." I said sarcastically while clapping. She smiled, but blushed. "I don't know what to get. I don't go shopping. Dan picks everything out for me." _Oh, so the bastard is the one who is at fault, __again_. I instantly felt bad for my pervious statement. This was a girl's dream right here, and she didn't even know how to shop! I shot look at Zayn who nodded, understanding.

"Well, we picked out something for you. Do you like it?" I asked, pointing to Zayn's. She smiled, looking at each article of clothing, lightly touching the purse. "I love it!" She threw her arms around him, earning a surprised look from him. Jamie wasn't a people person, so when she touched someone, it was a bit short of a miracle. He quickly hugged her back, not wanting to offend her. She looked over at mine and laughed. I felt a frown form. "But I tried _really_ hard." I went to go pick up the outfit, when she stopped me. "No, no. I'm laughing because it's so _me_. I would totally wear this!" I lit up and pointed to myself. "WINNER!" I shouted at Zayn who rolled his eyes.

We then helped Jamie pick out the rest of her outfit. "What size pant do you wear?" She looked down at her pants, and I had to cough awkwardly to cover up my laugh. "I don't know, look." She said turning her back to me, pulling up her shirt a bit. I tried to go in as confidently as I could, but when I turned her belt part over, and saw her light pink lace panties, I blushed, and heard Zayn's loud laughter. I shot a glare over my shoulder at him. "An eight." I barely managed. She scoffed. "Do they even carry that size here?"

We pulled out several pairs that she tried on, when she came out, they were so baggy. "What did you get me Zayn? I'm comparable to a gangster right now!" She bent her knees, flashing a peace sign and cheesy smile. We ended up having to go down to a four before they finally stayed on her without a belt. She complained the whole way, with 'ews' and 'too fat for this'. I would have said something, if she wasn't on the verge of tears every time she came out of the fitting room. We decided to move on to tops.

"What about this?" Zayn held up a bright red bedazzled shirt. Jamie squinted, but smiled. "Uh, yeah, I like it." And put it in the bag. Zayn huffed and pulled it out. "Jamie, this isn't how shopping works. You don't have to like everything. Just say, 'no,' and move on." She frowned at him. "But you picked it out, for me. I can't say no to that." We smiled at how polite she was. "It's a suggestion, just to see what you like." She mumbled an 'oh,' and continued searching. Finally, she was happy with it, and we checked out with all these clothes, and much, much more. cgi/set?id=65650257

I've never felt so tired in my life. I thought performing several times a week was hard, but no, shopping with ONE girl for hours is what really wears you out. We finally left and were walking to our car when one of the many bags I was carrying hit a girl. "Sorry!" I called to her. She squinted at me, then her face lit up. "YOU'RE HARRY STYLES!" She screamed. Suddenly there were people and camera's shoved in our faces as we made our way out.

"Who is the girl?"

"Is she your next fling?"

"Zayn, where's Payne and _Tomlinson?" I saw Jamie's head flick up at this comment. People were clawing their way through, and Zayn and I tried our best to keep Jamie hidden._

_"Why are you hiding her? Let us see her face!" _

_"She's ugly!"_

_"Is that a bruise?"_

_"Did you hit her? Did she deserve it?" One reporter yelled. Zayn whipped around, but I caught his jacket, pulling him along with us. We made it to the car, and I ducked Jamie's face into my coat. It took a while for us to leave, because we had so many girls pressed up against the car. Finally, Zayn hit the gas, and we sped off. _

_Jamie slowly moved away, putting as much space in-between us as possible. I waited for her questions, but she continued to stare out the window. "I'm really sorry about that." I apologized. She nodded, acknowledging me, but didn't reply. "You're probably wondering why they were all there." I started, "You see-" She turned a bit towards me, so I could hear her as she flatly stated, "I know." I shot a panicked look at Zayn, who was equally surprised. _

_"Y-you know?" I asked, disbelievingly. We tried so hard to keep her from the press. She nodded slowly. "Last night, that guy," We both knew what she was talking about, "He told me." She turned to look at me then. "I don't mind, and it doesn't change how I feel about any of you, I just wish you would have told me straight out. I don't like hearing trickled down information." I could tell that she was upset, even though she didn't show it._

_"We were going to, the morning after you got here." Zayn said, "But we saw how nice it was just to have a friend who didn't judge us for our fame or status. It was nice that we could just be ourselves around you." He looked back at us in the mirror. "We never meant to hurt you, or keep it from you, we just kinda forgot to tell you along the way, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders._

_"Who told them about me?" She asked softly, with a hidden line of anger. I held up my hands. "We didn't say a word! We didn't want to get you into the press like that. Even though, this won't help." I gestured outside to the still following news crew. "If you didn't tell anyone about me, then how did they know my name?" She asked accusingly. We were now at the house, and Zayn turned around, confused. "No one said your name Jay."_

_She looked at us like we were stupid. "Yes they did. Someone asked you where Payne and Tomlinson__is." He shook his head, not understanding. "Yes, where Liam and Louis are. What does that have to do with you?" She sat back, looking at the house, then back at me. "Jamie?" Zayn asked. She turned to us then. "Because I'm Jamie Marie Tomlinson."_

Author Note: Thanks so much for the reviews and feedback this time. I listen to every single one of you! I got a few questions about the bulimia scene in the last chapter and how I am 'glorifying' it. I chose the words 'churning fat', 'splatter', and 'plunged my fingers repeatedly' to show exactly the opposite. Bulimia isn't pretty, and people shouldn't think that it should be a 'fix' for anything. I don't intend to glorify anything in my stories besides your love for 1D. Please, please review! And a big thank you to Ella. I've been using her fantastic support to sit in my basement for hours typing up chapters!


	12. Life Raft

Jamie POV

"**WHAT**?" They said in unison. Both of their mouths were popped open and they stared at me in awe. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Harry finally managed. I shrugged. "I didn't know Louis's last name until now. I highly doubt that we are related. I never even knew anyone by the name Louis anyhow." I brushed off, but they continued to stare. I sighed and hopped out of the car.

I heard their slamming doors and messy pace racing up to meet me. "What are you going to do?" Harry asked me as he dropped onto the couch. I pointed a finger at myself. "_I'm_ not going to do anything about it. We had very little relatives growing up. What I did have, didn't accept me after..." I stopped short. I couldn't even get the word to leave my mouth.

"After?" Harry prompted, giving me a concerned glace and placing his hand on my leg. I shook my head. "It's not important. I don't want to worry Louis with it." Zayn huffed. "Don't you think we should at least mention it?" I shrugged again, not knowing what to do. It was hard for me to believe that we could be family at all. "I'm not sure. It doesn't matter to me. It's just a last name."

We decided to let the topic slide as Niall, Louis, and Liam came through the door. I instantly noticed how Niall went straight up stairs. Concerned, I followed. When I got to his door, I softly knocked. "Niall?" I pleaded. The door opened, and I looked up at his red rimmed eyes. Before I asked, I pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back. He started to teeter, so I guided him over to the bed.

As we snuggled up, I gave him little light kisses all over his hair and face, waiting to see if he'll tell me what wrong. With no progress, I asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" He opened his eyes and looked up at me then. I frowned at the sadness that shown in his blue pools. "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I didn't mean for this to happen. We tried so damn hard, and it wasn't good enough." He sighed angrily, his eyes filling with unshed tears.

I stroked his cheek and in seeing my confused glace, he continued. "You're all over the news. And I don't understand why they are saying the things they are!" He sat up. "We were told about it, at, erm, work." He stumbled at his words, but continued. "We made sure to tell them they were wrong." I sighed and touched his pale arm. "You mean you're interview?" I had a smile on my face as he whipped around to stare at me. Before he could talk, I continued. "I knew about it, and I understand. I know you guys had the best intentions. But," I looked down, getting a little choked up. "Thank you for standing up for me. No one has really done that before." I confessed.

He lightly pulled my chin up to meet his adoring eyes. "You deserve it Jamie. You deserve so much more than the life you were given. You deserve the world." He blushed and ducked his head at his confession, but I found it cute. I sat up on my knees, tilting his head up, and as I did so, gently placed my lips against his.

Fire. I welcomed it. He didn't kiss back at first but when he did, it was with lust. His hands fell on my shoulders, pushing me lightly back towards the bed. We fit together. That's the only way I could describe it. His body felt so _right _on mine. I started to grab at him, trying to pull him closer. Our kisses became heated and almost messy. When either of us pulled away for breath, our lips found more and more skin to reveal on each other. I felt down and put my hands under his shirt, massaging his hard chest. He groaned when my cold hands felt over his stomach. My legs encircled his lower body, and we slowly started rocking together in passion.

His hands gripped my hips and sides, trying to steady himself. His hardness pressed into my thighs, making me push up harder against him. He bit my lip and I moaned. _God, he's driving me wild._ I pulled his shirt over his head and he was hiking mine up when light flooded the room. "_MY EYES_!" Zayn screamed, covering them while bursting out laughing. I ripped my shirt back down and looked over at an also laughing Niall.

"Geez, get a room!" Zayn said turning his back towards us. "We're already in one." Niall muttered as we put a shirt on. Louis suddenly appeared, looking between us. "Pull yourselves together. We're watching a movie, and you both are coming." He stated before marching away. Niall took my hand, placing another kiss on my lips before walking downstairs to meet the guys.

Niall then wandered into the kitchen, raiding the cupboards for a snack. "Oi, I don't want popcorn again. Can't we go get something?" We all decided to go to the little gas station down the road to pick out snacks. The boys almost looked like they were going to rob the place, wearing dark clothes and oversized jackets for their 'disguise'. They happily sighed when only a few customers browsed around. I made my way to the back, looking at drink options.

I bent over, looking at all the flavored waters when a familiar hand grasped my shoulder. I laughed, "Harry, which one do you want?" I asked. From an aisle over, I heard him yell, "A coke will do, thanks!" I instantly froze before the monotone voice I grew to hate vibrated right next to my ear. "Not who you were expecting, hmm?" I was suddenly pulled up straight. "Honey, it's been so long!" He exclaimed, before grasping me in a bone tight hug.

"D-Dan." I simply stated. He smiled sickly at me. While gripping my shoulder, he pulled out a magazine from behind his back. "Let's have a chat about this." I gawked at the cover. It was me on the front page, with a faded bruise on my face, being carried by Harry. It must have been from the first day we met. He turned to the next one of me walking with Harry and Zayn with a red circle around my wrist. A close-up showed red marks from my healing cuts. The next one had 'ONE DIRECTIONS ANOREXIC NEW GIRLFRIEND' across the cover with another picture that made me out to be way to skinny.

He threw them to the floor and started pulling me towards the exit. I grabbed his hand, somewhat shocking him. "No." I stated defiantly. He then grabbed both of my shoulders, earning a small yelp of pain from my mouth. "Jamie?" Liam came around the corner followed by Louis. "Is there a problem here?" Louis asked, boldly coming to my side.

Dan laughed at them, and I could see the tension building in the boys. "Your friends I take it?" He motioned to them. "Don't I get to be introduced?" He glared at me. "You're not worth an introduction." I spat at him. Anger flared in his green depths. His fists clenched and he stepped closer to me. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" He said again, toppling over me. I shrank back into Liam.

Louis cleared his throat. "Oh, I'm sorry you didn't hear her. She _**said**_ she didn't want to introduce us." He remarked sarcastically. I quickly glanced back at Dan to see a sudden calm fall over him. "I apologize then." He said looking at each of us before ruffling my hair. I could see Liam and Louis both leap at him actions, expecting the worst. "Can't I just talk to her? One minute. You can even time it." He threw them his phone. Before they could give an answer, he pulled me out the door.

We walked outside and as soon as we rounded the corner he had me pinned. His vile breath was on my face. "How dare you talk back to me." I was struck across the face. "How DARE you lie to me?" He asked while gripping my jaw. He suddenly kneed me so hard in my stomach, I couldn't breathe. My knees gave out but he held me up. "And how dare you, how _**DARE**_ you leave me?" He pulled me back by my neck, ramming me three times into the cold brick. My head slammed into it the last time, and I almost shut my eyes in defeat.

"Don't you _DARE_ make a mockery out of me, Jamie. Because it will be the last thing you ever do." He pulled my hood over my head, and put an arm around my waist. "Now, all we did was talk." He turned me to face him. Slapping my cheek lightly, he added, "And you're fine. Oh, and say a word, and I'll have their pretty little heads mounted on my wall." He smirked at me.

"JAMIE!" I heard Niall's voice ring out in the darkness. He came around the corner, wrapping me in his arms that shook with anger. "Looks like they've been taking good care of you Jamie. You slut around with them now too?" He threw at me with a laugh. I flinched back, not wanting to hear his empty criticism. "_That's enough_." Zayn finally said soundly, standing in front of us. Dan held up his hands. "Alright, alright." I could feel his eyes burning my skin. "See you around, love." He said before leaving.

I stood there in Niall's arms, motionless, as the boys surrounded me. "Did he do anything? Are you alright?" Harry asked. I barely nodded. Niall started walking forward with me, but I could feel myself plummeting to the ground. He caught me before I could smacked my face on the pavement. "Jamie, what did he do?" I held out my hand, shaking it towards them. _You're fine, I reminded myself._

Cool air rushing at my face made me focus my attention back at them. Someone ripped my hood away. "Damnit!" Zayn shouted, holding his face and turning away. I let a sob escape my body, and I saw them flinch, as if it physically affected them. I put my face in Niall's shoulder, hiding it from the rest of them. _You probably look disgusting._ As I was lifted into his arms, I let the darkness take me, giving into the pain. But his words saved me, just like a life raft. "I _love_ you." He whispered into my ear.

Author Note: I apologize for not updating sooner! I also wanted to note that I have more about her eating disorder coming up- as that was LARGELY requested. Sometimes those things are tough to write, because I don't know where to fit them in at. I feel like this chapter is just a filler, so I once again apologize. I at least tried. I got my lovely inspiration for my God sent follower-Ella. She's the reason I didn't go cold turkey on this story. Thanks for everyone's continuous support, and I hope I didn't disappoint!


	13. Smoke

Harry POV

We rushed her to the house as fast as we could, ringing Ed on the way. Niall held onto her, his head in the crook of her neck for most of the ride. I continued to push stray pieces of hair off of her bruised and clammy forehead. I became nervous and fidgety, thinking that this ride seemed to take much longer than normal. My energy was fuelled by anger. Every time I looked at her face, or even at how broken Niall was next to her, heat flowed through me. _How could anyone treat her like that?_

As Niall carried her to the house, Ed had already flown in beside her, holding her wrist and feeling her forehead. We took her up to Niall's bed were she laid crumpled and pale. Ed finally stood up with a sigh. "Fortunately, nothing's broken." Niall ducked his head into his hoodie, obviously crying with relief. Louis wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close, padding his back with comfort. The rest of us looked at each other, relieved.

"But, her rib is fractured and is heavily leaning on her lung. I'll wrap her, which she'll need to leave on for a few weeks. Fluids, as well, seeing as her nourishment isn't up to par." He looked accusingly at us.

Niall stayed by her side for the past few days. He would talk to her, change her clothes, braid her hair. It was heart wrenching to watch. All the same, it's all the love she finally deserves. I sat on the couch, scrolling through twitter, sighing and shaking my head to the same reoccurring comments and adoration from the fans. Suddenly, a soft whimper pulled me from my thoughts. Niall and I were by her side, he was grasping her hand, shaking it softly. "Jamie?" I asked softly. She didn't stir.

I looked down at a very worried Niall. "I don't even know if she's okay Harry. What else can I do?" I saw mist forming in his eyes. He blinked at them and looked away, ashamed. I put a hand on his shoulder, kneeling down next to him. I opened my mouth when another whimper escaped Jamie's.

"Princess? Please wake up." Niall begged. Her eyes fluttered open. She looked at Niall and then me. I heard Niall giving his relief speech, but I focused on her face. She almost looked, disappointed? Then the pain came, as she registered what Niall had been saying. Her voice was hoarse and broke as she interrupted Niall. "I heard you." She simply said, lightly stroking his cheek. "Really?" I saw a tear escape his eyes. She was slow to brush it away and nodded.

Her eyes suddenly connected with mine, as if reinforcing her point. A swallowed loudly and adverted my gaze to the wall behind her. _She heard me._

_**I sat next to Jamie as Niall got up, leaving to grab a bite to eat and shower. I patted her leg. "It's just you and me, now." I leaned forward, looking at her still small frame. God, has she gotten skinnier? I sighed, picking up her feet and massaging them, hoping they would warm up. As I picked up her other foot, I squinted, rolling down her sock to reveal several deep gashes. I dropped her foot as if I had been burned. _

_I looked up at her in disbelief. "You promised!" I pointed at her. "You said you would talk to us next time Jamie. You're __**letting**__ yourself fall apart!" I huffed angrily. Why does she have to be so difficult? "Do you know how much we worry about you? Any clue on how much we care, how much __**HE**__ cares?!" I gestured towards the door Niall recently went through. "I even tried to understand! Look. __**LOOK DAMNIT**__!"_

_I was standing beside her now, holding up my sleeve and moving the many bracelets I wear to the side. I showed her unresponsive form the angry red gash that stood out on my pale skin. I recalled how long I sat in my room that night, breathing deeply, waiting minutes, seconds, __**hours, **__before I had the courage to press that blade to my skin._

_I crumpled beside her, letting stubborn tears show in my eyes. "I thought I would know then, if I did it, how it feels." I shook my head and scoffed. "God, it hurt. It __**really**__ hurt. And it was only __**ONE**__." I played with a piece of her silky hair. "I had never been so scared for my life. I thought 'what if I died now?' But it wouldn't stop, the blood. I ran hectically to Zayn." I laughed at the memory. "You should have seen him. He was pissed, but scared. He punched me for being stupid. Then made me sleep with him that night." I sighed and looked up at her, touching her cheek. _

"_I really wish you could tell me what to do right now. Niall's a mess, I'm a mess, and a jackass who seemingly wants to die keeps texting you." I held her cold hand, putting her fingers against my much longer ones. "You're family now. And to some of us more than that. We're all kind of lost without you."**_

The increased pressure on my hand brought me out into the real world. "Huh?" I asked, scratching my head as I looked at their expectant faces. Niall looked at me as if it were obvious and stated, "I said, can you tell the boys she's up? And maybe ask Ed if he can stop by." I nodded and started to leave, when something pulled me back. I looked down and saw Jamie still had a firm grasp of my hand. I look at her, but she gave no emotion as she let my hand fall back at my side, moving her attention back to Niall.

Jamie POV

It has been almost three weeks of being housebound. Poor Niall has been glued to my side, doing everything for me. It gets to be too much sometimes, like when he refused that I can reach over, grab my cup, and drink from it myself. 'I've got it,' 'Don't' push yourself,' 'You can't heal if you do that.' I have to remind him that I don't have a fatal illness; I'm just a tad sore.

Everyone else seemed to keep some distance from me while I recovered. Maybe they knew I already felt claustrophobic from Niall babying me. But Harry, I rarely saw. He passed a few times, but by the time I saw him, and tried sitting up, he had left. The day he told me he actually hurt himself, just to understand me better, I wanted to hold him, and then punch him like Zayn. More than anything, I wanted him to explain.

I looked out the window at the nice summer day and sighed. Niall followed my gaze and soothed my leg. "Maybe, just for a bit.." He trailed off. I flipped my head towards him, shocked. "Really?" I smiled, grabbing his hand. He laughed at me and shook his head. He lifted me from the couch, and I pouted. "I _can_ walk, Niall." He looked at me, almost debating, before setting me to my feet. I wobbled at first, Niall steadying me a few time while giving me the 'I told you so' look.

I laid down on the grass, letting the warm rays hit my skin. I turned my head and opened one eye to see Niall looking at me. I smiled and entwined my fingers with his. "Thank you." I whispered. There was a comfortable moment of silence, before I felt his fingers in my hair. "I would do it all over again." I looked at him confused and he quickly explained. "Spend all that time with you. You're fascinating Jamie." I turned to my side, still feeling a familiar ache.

My hand floated from his hand to his chest, letting my fingers stray to his lower stomach and back up to his now racing heart. He grabbed my hand and held it from him, gulping loudly. I moved my head from his shoulder to kiss his smooth skin at his jaw. I trailed kisses up to his ear, which I lightly nibbled. He groaned and turned his head, capturing my lips. His kiss was rougher than last time, but still full of passion. His hand held the small of my back, lightly pushing me closer.

I flowed my hands through his silky hair, that almost reflected in the sun. He flipped me, so that he hovered on top of me, putting no weight on me. I wrapped my leg around his waist, trying to pull him down, but he didn't budge. I bit his lip in protest and his moaned formed into a growl. "Stop teasing me." I smirked and bucked my hips up to his. He gave in, and placed some weight against me. But as soon as it started, it was over.

With a final kiss, he flew off of me and stood up, breathing deeply. He looked down at me, almost embarrassed. "We can't, not now. I wouldn't have been able to stop. Sorry." He mumbled while reaching down to help me up, his eyes avoiding mine. I grabbed his hand, but held it there, until his sad eyes found mine. "I love you." I said with a smile, trying to show all the happiness he has given me. His face turned to shock, then bliss, his eyes seemed to mist over.

He pulled me up and twirled me around in the air, earning several giggles from me. He set me down and kissed me. "And I love you." He said in my hair. He put his hand around my waist and walked me back to the house.

The smell hit me like a box of bricks and I nearly doubled over as we went into the smoky kitchen. Niall started running in but I grasped his hand and wildly shook my head, my eyes pleading. He looked back at me confused while he pointed at a shape in the kitchen. "I have to help Louis put it out." He ripped his hand from mine and ran forward while I stood frozen at the entrance.

** _I coughed and coughed, not being able to breathe in deeply. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I bounded out of my bed and opened the door. The smoke billowed so thick, I couldn't even see an inch in front of me. I slammed the door shut, thinking quickly of what to do. _**Sam**_. With a new determination, I reopened the door, prepared to save him when a noise behind me made me turn around. _

_I saw a figure climbing in through the window. "Jamie!" I recognized Dan's voice and ran to him, wheezing from the smoke. I pulled him towards the door, "We have to get Sam!" I pleaded, but he shook his head, holding me hands. "It's too late Jamie, that entire side of the house has gone up in flames." I stared at him, wide eyed as I slowly sunk to the ground, gripping my head. I felt Dan pull me up, and carry me out the window to the awaiting sirens. I looked up from his shoulder to see the rest of my house collapse. My house, my family, my life…gone._**

Someone shook me. I noted that I was on the floor, curled up against the wall. "Jamie?" I looked up to see Harry standing over me. His eyes widened when he saw my tear drenched face. "Let's get you outside where you can breathe." He tried lifting me up to walk, but I shook so violently, it was hopeless. He sat me on the ground, sitting next to me. He put a hand on mine, trying to pry it from my face. "It's just a fire, Jamie. Louis can't cook, happens all the time." He laughed but I trembled with anger. "_**Just a fire?**_" I screeched.

I could almost feel him nod. "What's wrong?" He asked, lightly shaking my shoulder. "Hey, breathe. Take some deep breaths Jamie." I hadn't noticed that I was hyperventilating between sobbing. I pointed to the house. "Sam." I croaked. He looked between me and the house, trying to put something together. "Sam?" He asked. "And my mom, and dad. And Fluffy." I groaned miserably. "_**IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME**_!" I yelled suddenly at him. He flinched back, before putting a hand on my back while I sobbed miserably.

He stayed silent for a moment, before hesitantly continuing. "There was a fire." He said slowly, then recognition flashed on his face. "You lost your family." I spoke between my fingers. "Myself. I lost myself." I heard him plucking some grass from the ground. "How did you get out?" I threw my head back and laughed while I cried. "Dan! Can you believe it? The one person in this world I want to kill myself over saved my damned life." I threw my hands up in the air. "He told me to sleep in the guest room that night, so he could sneak in." I shook my head, disgusted with myself. "I should have burned with that house." I turned to Harry, angrily pointing at myself. "_I shouldn't be here."_

"That's why you feel the guilt, right? He saved your life, so you stayed with him." He said, more as a fact. "I had no one else. _**No one**_." He shook his head sadly. Something caught his attention, and he looked behind him, to see the rest of the boys standing there. Niall slowly came to sit next to me, tears threatening to fall over his beautiful eyes. I simply wrapped my arms around him, and let myself cry. Finally cry over what I lost, but I felt hope as I knew that my new family sat around me, quietly talking about a new life.

Author Note: Please review and I hope you enjoyed it! This isn't at all what I thought this chapter would be, but it came out this way. I have also been getting quite a few one-shot personal story requests, and I don't know how I feel about it. I feel like I could lose concentration with this story, so I might have to finish this up first before I get to those.

Once again, thank you to the wonderful Ella who helps make this all possible and continues to fuel my passion for writing.


	14. I'm Still Here

I know many of you will open this and find it to be a huge jumble of disappointment. Others of you will never even read this line, because seeing no chapter has been posted in weeks, you've lost interest and simply clicked out of this. As for the rest of you, thank you. Thank you for keeping me going. Thank you for the reviews. Thank you for your kind smiles. Thank you for your requests. Thank you for sticking with me this long. Most of all, thank you Ella, who sums up most of my thank you's.

I'd first and foremost like to say _**I WILL NOT STOP WRITING THIS STORY. **_I get so many e-mails of people bawling, yelling, and some even sending me hate for not putting up a chapter _every night_. I have two eyes, a heart, a brain, and most importantly 10 fingers to type this- meaning, I'm only human.

Not only has it been a busy holiday season, but I have some personal problems I'm battling as well. I know; I can already hear the moaning on how you don't want me to drag on about my personal problems, so I'll make it short and simple, so you understand. I've been knocked down, by the once again familiar darkness, and I can't get anywhere near the light. I'm trying- bare with me.

Also, if you're still reading this, thank you again. You probably aren't the person sending me hate, but there are three people in particular that send me a message almost every day. At first it was about my writing. I can deal with that. I get criticized all the time as a writer. Then it was about my character Jamie's problems. It hurt, but I can understand how some people don't want to read about it. Now it's about me directly. I can tell they are sometimes guessing, fishing around for more things to throw at me, but they are the more hurtful.

"_Youre a cheater. You cheated on him dint you whore."_

"_You probably play with people's emotions just like Jamie does? How does it feel to push them down, squash people under your fingers? Do you cut yourself when its all over? Or are you a designated drinker? Pull a Jamie and hope someone comes to resue you? No one will ever love you bitch. Get used to the loneness!"_

These are two of the newest ones. It hurts and it's hard to take personal hate. I'm not saying what they wrote is/isn't true, but some of your comments hit home, and I don't appreciate it. I do this in my spare time for YOU guys. Not for me. I just write what I think the character feels, and I am always open for suggestions. I simply haven't had the motivation to write a chapter yet. I have some good ideas, but I need to single them down, and then spend the time to type them all.

As for requests, I think I might post one to two a week. I've been getting quite a few, and sometimes I don't like to write knowing that it has to be so long. So keep sending them in and I'll start typing. I just don't want you guys to lose faith in me. I might be struggling, but I'm still here, and I promise I'll stick to this story. I've already been asked for a sequel! Thank you all for your love and support and I hope you had a great holiday season!

_Side note: If you are struggling with anything I mention in my chapters, please contact me. I don't mean for my stories to be triggering or want you to start becoming addicted, so I'd love to help you with anything that comes your way. You are all beautiful people, and I love you wholeheartedly. And you are never ever alone._


	15. Loved

Jamie POV

The tears wouldn't stop coming. The ripping pain in my chest I've tried keeping at bay for years overflowed, and my strong façade finally broke down. I clutched onto Niall, my hands shaking from holding onto his shirt so tight. I felt his tears mix with mine and I wanted to help, but I couldn't move, or think. I just needed time for me for once. "I can't watch this anymore." I heard someone hoarsely mumble. "Liam, don't you cry too. Come here, come here." Louis said. I heard the hard thump of Liam running to Louis and smiled. My chest was still hitching from the air that refused to fully come into my lungs. I pressed a kiss to Niall's chest where my head was still buried and felt him shift under me. I pulled my head up to look into his red eyes.

"S-s-sorry for-" He started shakily, but I shook my head, stopping him. "I'm sorry, for not saying anything. To any of you." I added, after seeing Louis, Zayn, Liam, and Harry still looking at me. "It was just a chapter I was obviously not ready to turn." I said, pointing to my puffy red face. They smiled weakly at me. Liam took a step forward, as if testing his limits, before bounding over to me. He stopped infront of me before lifting me up and pulling me into a hug. "I'm so sorry." He mumbled into my shirt. I shook my head, pulling his face up and wiped away his tears. "Thank you. But don't cry. I'm fine." Louis gave a scoff, as if not believing me, before coming over to hug me also. Causing the rest of the boys to do the same.

I felt a pressure in my chest, a warm feeling that I almost had forgot about. **Love.** I was being _loved._ I finally remembered what it was like, those nights curled up watching a movie with Sam, or having a funny conversation at the dinner table with my parents. That feeling that was ripped away from me, abandoned and now found. A sob came out of my mouth at the feeling that I oh so welcomed. I looked up at the four of them through my tears and smiled.

_The four of them?_ I tilted my head to see Harry walking back into the house.

Harry POV

It made it worse, this feeling. I kicked the grass at my feet as I saw Liam embracing Jamie. She still seemed so fragile. I ruined what we had. I shouldn't have been so stupid. _She probably hates me now. How fantastic._ She told me she heard everything I said to her that night. She knew, and yet every time her eyes flickered to mine, they turned into stone, and I had no idea what her mind was thinking. Zayn gave me that look once, then told me how upset he actually was. That's the _exact_ reason I have been avoiding her. Niall was so protective, making sure she fully recovered, and here I am making it worse. I glanced down at the faded red line across my wrist and anger flowed through me_. I was so stupid thinking she'd understand._ Shoving my hands in my pockets, I turned to leave, stopping momentarily at the sight before me. _They didn't even notice._

Stomping up to my room, my door flew open with a loud bang and I struggled to keep these angry tears at bay. "_Don't._" I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. "Harry." My voice was called on a whisper. I knew she was there. "**What?**" I barked, not trusting myself to face her. I felt her small hand touch my back, and I tensed. "Are you mad?" She asked, no emotion to her voice. I was about to bark another sarcastic remark when she added. "At me?" I felt my lips part as a gasp escaped them. _Did she know how I felt?_ "I'm sorry, that I haven't said anything yet. I just honestly didn't know what to say. I was so upset when you told me, I wanted to cry for years knowing the pain I had caused you. The pain that you had caused _yourself._ Then I wanted to beat you til your skinny jeans came off, which would have been a long time." She laughed quietly at her own joke. I smiled at the happiness that had finally returned to her.

"I just.." She took a deep breath. "I don't want my actions to have any effect on you, Harry. You mean so much to me and for you to do that to yourself…" Her voice faded, as her emotions grew. "I noticed Harry. I noticed everyday how it was building up. Don't think I ever didn't." I didn't stop the tears this time as they freely spilled over my eyes. _She knew._ "I'm sorry that I broke my promise. But it was hard. So, _so_ hard, Harry. And I didn't want you to see me like that. You must think I'm pretty pathetic to apologize now but-" I broke from my stance, turning and reaching for her "Stop!" I cried. Her eyes found mine, and her face contorted in pain as she watched more tears fall from my eyes.

"Oh God. I'm not mad, I'm just-" I lowered my head into my hands, emotions too high. "I couldn't lose you Jamie. I couldn't believe you were still suffering alone. I just didn't understand. I didn't understand at all." She wrapped her arms around me as I cried. She shushed me, rubbing my back. "This is my fault, not yours. Please don't put it on you. That's the last thing you need." We stood there for a moment before she moved. "Harry Styles, you are an extraordinary person." She looked up at me smiling. "So you forgive me for being stupid?" I sniffled. "You forgave me all those times when I didn't deserve it." She shrugged. "Of course I do." She hugged me again when her phone went off. She pulled her phone out, checking it, before quickly putting it away.

"Who was it?" I asked curiously. She fidgeted with her fingernail, taking a step back. "Old friend." She murmured. "You alright though?" She asked again, as she turned to leave, her demeanor completely different than before. "Yeah. What's up Jamie?" I asked again, following her. "Nothing, Harry. Just tired." She walked into her bedroom, shutting the door. I stood there a moment longer, my hands in their familiar pockets. Pressing my ear to the door, a muffled sob was all I needed before I turned the nob, letting myself in.

Jamie POV

Pulling the phone out of my pocket again, I looked at the multimedia message that was sent to me. It was a blurred picture of me and Louis at the entrance of the house. _You're not safe anymore, my dear. Take care of yourself, or I'll take care of the ones you love. XO. _With a sob, I realized I will never get away. It will always be a cat and mouse game. And I had pulled the only people who will ever care about me into the trap. Angrily wiping away my tears, I stood up, pulling out my old pink duffle bag. My chest was breaking as I threw my phone in, tears rolling once again down my face. _The only way, I reminded myself. For Niall. For Harry. For Louis. For Zayn. For Liam. I had to hurt them to save them. It's the only way._ As I turned to grab my shirt, I faced a shocked Harry. "What are you doing?"

_****Authors Note: Writer's block is finally over! I can not tell you how happy I am. I felt like this chapter went by really fast, and I promise to update more often now that I know what I'm doing. Please tell me what you think. And thank you to Ella, you're amazing and keep me typing!**_


	16. Reunion

Jamie POV

"What are you doing?" His voice rang out clear, as he stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes locked onto my pink duffle bag. I swallowed before continuing to move about, collecting jeans and shirts. "No." He said, unpacking the things that were currently in my bag. "No. You are not doing this." I turned, looking out the window, my hand clasped over my mouth to try and keep my emotions in check_. Buzzzz_. I pulled the phone out of my back pocket and almost screamed at what I saw. I ran to the other window, pulling it open to see Niall sitting in the backyard. I swallowed, glancing down at the picture which was a front view of Niall sitting there. I scrolled down to see the actual message. '_Come home Jamie.'_

Large arms encircled my waist from behind. "Please. Let me help. Don't run away from me." I turned in his arms and his hard eyes met mine. A line formed in between his brows as he concentrated on my face. I threw my hands up as I sobbed. "I don't know what to do." His large hands clasped mine. "About what?" His warm breath hovered over my head. "Dan needs me to come home, Harry. I have to go." He quickly pulled me away from him. "_What?!_ No, you're not going back!" He says, shaking his head. "He knows where I am. He just took a picture of Niall from Pete's sake! I can't just stand back and let him threaten you guys." He held his hand out and I gave him my phone. Scrolling, he scoffed in disgust.

"He can't do anything Jamie. We're safe here. He just holds this power over you, and you crumble every time he tries anything." I turned to him, eyes wide. "Because I know what he can do Harry. I'm scared for a reason." I said, my breath hitching as uncomfortable memories flooded my vision. "Hey, hey. I didn't mean it like that." He pulled me back into his arms. "I just don't want you to make a quick decision. We can all talk about it and think what we need to do." I nodded in his warm chest. "I'll clean up here, you can go talk to.." He cleared his throat, turning from me. "..Niall." I cocked my head to the side for a second, watching his sculpted arms pick up my clothing.

I snapped out of my gaze and turned towards the stairs. My body was still sore from everything that happened. I stopped mid-step as I heard soft voices coming from the kitchen. Pursing my lips, I followed the sound. My mouth dropped as I saw a girl next to Niall, her blonde-strawberry hair flowing over his arm that was tightly wrapped around her shoulders. I watched as he leaned in, pulling a piece of stray hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear. Her complexion was pale, just like Niall, but flawless. He leaned in, whispering something in her ear. She smiled, looking at the floor as she blushed.

I shut my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes. Before I knew what I was doing, I bounded up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door behind me as I sunk to the floor. I jumped when a hand settled on my knee. Harry. I didn't think twice before I threw myself into his arms.

Niall POV

I whistled as I got up from the ground, softly padding the grass off of my jeans. Glancing up at the window, I squinted as I saw Jamie in Harry's arms. His face was pressed against the top of her head, holding her to his chest. I huffed, wondering why my comfort never seemed to be enough for her. "Hey man." Zayn said, following my gaze. "Don't take it that way. She just relates better to Harry. Ya know, like brother and sister." Zayn said, walking with me back to the house. "Yeah, but I wouldn't look at my sister like his does her." Zayn's eyes stayed on mine for another moment before looking away. He couldn't say anything against it, knowing it was true. Jamie and Harry had something. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it, until I saw the way he looked at her. The adoration in his eyes at her every movement. She however, was clueless. I sighed.

A soft knock brought me out of my thoughts. I opened it to see a girl standing with her back towards me. "Can I help you?" I asked. She jumped a bit, before turning towards me, her hair flowing with her. I looked at her petite frame, frowning as some sort of familiarity blew over me. Her eyes met mine, and I instantly knew. I'd only seen those unique eyes once. "Ella?" I asked breathlessly. I reached out, almost thinking I was just dreaming. "Nialler." She confirmed, stepping into my arms. I snapped my eyes shut, running my hand through her silky hair, over her soft skin- just like I remembered.

_** "Oh, Ella, don't cry." I pleaded as she softly sniffled, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Her eyes that once reminded me of a soft rain were cloudy, the grey darkening in them as she looked up at me. I took her hands in mine, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "I have something for you." Her beautiful face contorted in confusion. I smiled, kissing her cheek before turning to get the large white package with a huge red bow on it. Her face lit up, a smile spreading across her mouth as she reached for it. I watched as she eagerly opened it, trying to burn every one of her movements into my memory. She pulled out the dark blue ballet dress, hundreds of beads sparkling in the light. "For your upcoming recital." I explained. She looked down, her long hair hiding her face. "I know how much you love dancing. You outshine everyone, Ella." She looked up, tears streaming down her face. "I love you so much, Ni." She said, pulling me into her arms. "I'll write, every day." She promised. "I love you Ella. I don't care how long it takes, but I will come back to you." I kissed her one last time, before she turned and walked out the door.**_

It's been five years, and that was the last time I had saw her. That's when I was placed with the boys at the start. I had been able to come back to Ireland to pack, and to say goodbye to my family and the ones I loved. Ella was elated for me, but I could see the pain behind her eyes when she knew it would be months or even years before I could see her again. She wrote, just like she promised, every day. I replied at the start, but had been far too busy to write back all the time. After a while the letters had stopped completely. As I stare into her eyes now, I can't believe I had forgotten about the girl I had so desperately loved. The girl I had promised to marry. The one I promised to come back to.

I felt hot tears prickle at the back of my eyes as I pulled away from her. "Why-why are you here? God, don't you hate me?" I said, roughly kicking a few stray rocks on the porch. Her small hand found mine, instantly calming me. "No." She said, simply. "You followed your dream and I followed mine. We both got a little side tracked. That's all." She said as she played with my fingers. "But I didn't write back, I didn't-" I was cut off as her fingers brought my chin up. "But you remembered Niall. Mom said you came back when I was at college." My eyes widened. "Did you go? For writing I mean?" She nodded eagerly. "I got a full scholarship on it, Ni." I laughed and picked her up, twirling her around. "I missed you Niall." She said, her tone falling as we stood only inches apart. I leaned in, kissing her. Familiar warmth spread through me, but got cut off when the door flew open.

Zayn POV

I walked to the door after realizing just how long Niall had been gone. Running a hand through my hair, I opened it, my eyes bulging from my head at what I saw. "Uhhh. Am I, uhm, interrupting?" Both Niall and the girl blushed red, the girl taking a step behind Niall. He cleared his throat. "N-n-no." He shuddered, reaching for her hand. "Zayn, this is Ella. I don't know if you remember me talking-" I grabbed my stomach as I laughed. Niall wouldn't shut up about his 'princess' he left behind. "Of course I remember. She's all you talked about, lad." His blush deepened. "It's nice to finally meet you though." I added, as she shyly smiled. I opened the door wider, stepping out of the way and gesturing them inside. As I closed the door, watched as he moved with her, his eyes trained on her as he showed her around.

We finally stopped in the kitchen, and I handed her a glace of water as we talked. I shifted on my feet. _As they talked is more like it. _He held her much to close for my liking. Yeah, they loved each other, but he's with Jamie now. I felt a small swell of anger as I remembered the fact that he just _kissed_ this girl. Looking up at the ceiling, I silently prayed that she didn't come downstairs. They held their own silent conversation as we talked about her school. "What?" Niall asked loudly. She shyed away, almost looking embarrassed. "But you loved dancing." He protested. She lightly laughed. "I wasn't any good at it though. Plus, I'm happy where I am now. That's what matters." She said with a shrug. He swept a piece of her hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her eye. He leaned in, whispering some lovely-dovey nonsense on how he thought she was a wonderful dancer and how beautiful she still is. I rolled my eyes as she blushed.

That's when I caught it in my vision.

A stand of brown hair. I leaned forward, squinting my eyes around the corner, hoping I was wrong. I swallowed as I saw her standing there. A hand reached up to close her gaping mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. She turned on her heal, silently running up the stairs. I stole a glance at Niall and Ella, still in their own world, before I followed her up the stairs. I winced as the door was slammed in my face. Turning the nob, I walked in to find her openly sobbing in Harry's arms. His fingers pulled through her hair and threw a confused look in my direction. I mouthed 'Niall' and his grip on her instantly tightened. Harry took a deep breath before fishing her phone out of his pocket and handing it to me over Jamie. "Look." Was all he said, as his turned his attention back to Jamie. I scrolled through, opening the previous message. I squeezed the phone, anger rising in me as I looked down at Jamie breaking apart. The screen cracked and went black and I clenched it in my hand before throwing it loudly at the wall.

_A/N: Please don't hate me for doing this, but you don't know how many people have asked me to pair Jamie with Harry instead. I'm working on it, and this is how it's going to be. This chapter is very detail oriented, but I had to squeeze it in. Ella is a __**wonderful, wonderful**__ person who helped me through this entire fanfiction. As you can see, she, as a character (and as a person because I didn't tell her when I was putting her into this story-sorry!), is completely clueless that Niall is dating anyone else. So no hating on her! I promise I'll work things out, and I'll try and through in some more scenes that you guys asked for. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about writing a full blown sex scene though. I think when the time comes I'll make two chapters, one with, and one without. Thanks again for everyone's support! xx_


	17. Get Out

Zayn POV

Both of their heads snapped up at the noise. I barely paid attention, as I was pacing the room in frustration before turning back to Jamie. "You have to believe me when I say that we'll protect you, Jay." She scoffed. "You didn't protect me from that!" She said, gesturing to the door. I swore, before pulling her into my embrace and looking back at a confused Harry. "Who is she? How long has he-"Her voice broke off with a sob. "Babe, I don't really think it's my place to tell you." She pushed away from me, slapping my chest with her hand. "_Damnit Zayn_! **Tell me!**" I swallowed as I took in her anger, Harry wrapping a hand around her waist for support. "Her name is Ella. They met _before_ all of this happened. _Years and years ago_. He loved her, so much that he wanted to marry her. I think he's been secretly waiting for her." Her head dropped into her hands at the secret that has been kept from her.

"I've been such a fucking _fool_." Harry tugged her hands away. "Hey. Don't say that. None of this is your fault." She threw her hands up at him. "So what now? He's just going to dump me for that..that _bitch?_" She wiped her eyes, sitting on the bed. I stepped forward, grabbing her delicate hand. "No, Jay. I won't let him do that to you." She nodded, looking over at the phone which had shattered all over the ground. "Uhh." I ran a hand through my hair before rubbing the back of my neck. "Sorry about that. I'll get ya a new one." I looked over at Harry, his eyes clouded over in thought. I dropped my voice, talking into his ear. "Stay with her. I'll go talk to Niall. See if we can't get this sorted out." He only gave me a swift nod before I left them, slowly descending the stairs to the kitchen.

My fists clenched at the sight of Niall dancing around the kitchen with Ella. I bounded forward, ripping him away from her and slamming him into the nearby wall. Hot puffs of air came my mouth as I gripped his shirt, holding him in place. "_**Fuck!**_ What is wrong with you?" Niall asked, trying to butt me away. "What's wrong with me?" My cynical laugher filled the room, but my grip didn't loosen. "What's wrong with _**you! **_Do you have any idea what you've done!" I roared, looking over at Ella. He shook his head, his cheeks flushing with anger. "Do you know that Jamie saw you with her?" I asked, my voice lowering as I let him go, stepping away. "You fucked up." I said, my hand pointing to the ceiling. "She's a mess, Niall." I wet my lips, watching emotion scatter across his face. As he clutched fistfuls of hair, grunting in sadness, I softened. "Man, I love you, but you can't do this to her. To either of them." I added, looking over at a pale Ella who was nervously fiddling with her hands.

She must have felt my gaze because she looking up, biting her lip. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know there was someone else. I didn't mean any harm." I nodded and gave her a weak smile. "None of this is your fault Ella. Don't think it is." She frantically grabbed her coat. "Uh, I should go." She stammered, turning towards the door. "Wait!" Niall followed her, gripping her wrist. "I just got you back. Please stay. I just need to fix things. It was wrong of me to pull your into this." I could hear the raw desperation in his voice. She looked at him for a moment before nodding and sitting on the couch. I turned towards the stairs, hearing Niall follow. I stopped at the door, turning on my heel to face him. "She's quite angry. And upset. Please don't make it worse than it already is." He nodded, walking in. I silently whispered a prayer before walking back down to Ella.

Jamie POV

I stood there, wrapped safely in Harry's arms. Sobs continued to be ripped from my body, my breath hitching. _I should have known it was too good to be true. _Harry's hands drew shapes on my back, trying to calm me. It hardly worked. I didn't notice the door opening and closing, I did however notice Harry grow stiff, his arms wrapping tighter around me. "Niall." He said, his voice so low and dark that I felt the vibrations on my chest. I quickly wiped my face, not wanting him to see the tears he caused. I looked up, hesitantly, at Niall. The warm feeling in my chest turned it an icy pain, causing me to wince as fresh tears surfaced. I felt Harry's eyes on me as I sniffled, pulling in my emotions and turning on a blank face before meeting Niall's stormy eyes. His blonde hair was disheveled, his lips red, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Jamie, I-" I raised my hand, cutting him off as my anger flared. "Unless you are going to tell me that what we have-" I swallowed, correcting myself. "What we _had_, is more important than what she was to you, then please save yourself the explanation." I rubbed my temples, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I'm sorry I never told you. I just thought she was gone. I didn't think she would…" My head snapped up. "That what, Niall? That she would come back to you and you would drop everything around you to continue what you had? You were going to _**marry**_ her, Ni!" I took in a shaky breath, blinking rapidly at the tears that threatened to spill. "_I told you everything._" I whispered. "I told you _**everything**_, and you couldn't tell me about _one_ girl?" I looked up at him, finally noticing that he was openly crying. "I trusted you. Maybe if you trusted me, things would be different." He stumbled forward then, wrapping his arms around me as I stood frozen in place.

Suddenly, I was pulled away, my back pressed against Harry's huffing chest. "I think you've done enough mate. Give her some room to breathe." Niall stepped back, visibly distraught on what to do. "I am sorry Jamie, I never meant for it to be like this.. I've waited years, I can't just let her slip leave." He protested. I felt Harry's curly hair brush against my head as he shook his head. "But you're willing to let go of her?" He said, gesturing to me. Niall through his hands up. "What do you want me to do Harry? I can only choose one!" My mouth parted, realizing I wasn't going to be the one. _Don't be surprised. You always get fucked over. _Although I could tell he regretted his word choice, I barely cared. "Get out." I barely whispered. I felt his eyes connect with me. "Get. _Out_." Niall swallowed, running a hand through his hand before turning and walking out.

I hadn't realized what I was doing until I pushed myself from Harry's arms, running. I ran away from it, away from the emotions that were suffocating me. I soon found myself in bathroom, rocking myself on the floor. Numbly, I raked through the cabinets in front of me, searching for something to take away the empty feeling that consumed me. I ignored the pounding at the door, taking out the cool metal, placing it on my wrist. I slashed at my skin, the sharp pain having hardly an effect on me. I barely flinched as his large hand caught mine, pulling the blade out and lifting me into his arms. He didn't say anything, his green eyes speaking more than he ever could.

"Harry." I choked out, tugging on his shirt. His glossy eyes instantly caught onto mine. "He-he didn't even fight for me. Am I really that worthless? What did I do wrong?" I asked miserably, his face now blurry from my tears. I felt the pad of his thumb wipe them away as he laid me on his bed. "No Jamie. Please don't think that. He just.." He looked around, gnawing on his lip as he thought. "You don't have to make an excuse for him." He nodded, laying down next to me. His arms opened, inviting me inward. I felt his lips graze my hair as he started to softly hum. His fingers trailed up and down my arm, and I briefly smiled; the pain slowly fading as I fell into a deep sleep.

_**He will try to take away my pain, and he just might me smile. But the whole time I'm wishing it was you instead.**_

*Four hours later*

I rode on Harry's back as he carried me down to the kitchen, placing me on the cool countertop. I could hear the soft clattering of dishes and words being spoken. Harry messed with his hair as he followed my gaze. "They're all eating dinner. I just thought we could eat out here." I nodded as he moved over to the fridge, pulling out different things, only to inspect them and put them back in. I crossed my legs Indian style, watching him as he started making a sandwich. I cocked my head to the side as he brought it to me. I simply looked at the plate. "You eat, I'm not hungry." I tried to smile but he continued to frown. He placed it up to my lips and I leaned away. He sighed, setting it back down. "I refuse to let you dig yourself into a deeper hole. You're already hurting Jamie." He said, his thumbs moving across the bandage around my wrist. "Don't do this to yourself."

I looked away, not really wanting to have this conversation. A smile played on my lips as I saw him pull the sandwich up to his mouth, taking a rather large bite. "Mmmm." He said, with emphasis. "I'm glad you enjoy it that much." I said, laughing softly at his exaggerated chewing. He sighed, leaning on the counter in front of me. He held the sandwich up again, the unbitten side towards me. "Please?" He asked, looking intently at me. "For me?" I swallowed, looking at the sandwich skeptically before leaning forward to take a small bite. I chewed slowly, trying to decipher what it was that I was tasting. He laughed at my confused face. "You've never had that before?" I shook my head slowly, licking some peanut butter off the roof of my mouth.

"Keep eating until you guess it." He said, holding up the sandwich again. He pressed it up to my mouth, his eyes full of concentration and his mouth parting slightly as I opened my own mouth. "Is there banana in it?" He nodded, eyes sparkling in approval. "What else?" I smacked my lips together, trying to think of what else I tasted. "Peanut butter and something sweet." He took another bite, grabbing me a cup of milk from the fridge. "Honey?" He dramatically frowned at me as I pushed the plate to his side. "All yours!" I exclaimed, hoping off the counter. As I landed, the walls closed in and reached out as my world tilted. I felt his tight grip on my arms pulling me into him. His eyes screamed worry as I finally settled myself. "Thanks." I said, walking to the bathroom.

I sighed, doing a small dance as I saw it was occupied. I turned to use the other one when I heard a familiar splatter sound, causing my eyes to widen. I walked back pressing my ear gently to the door. A faint sob caught my ears, causing me to press on the door, opening it. Her fragile figure hovered the toilet as I watched her fingers disappear down her throat, only to throw up once more. "Ella?"

_A/N: I'm sorry you had to wait so long for such a crappy chapter. I've had a really tough month. I'm usually good about pouring my emotions out through my writing, but I felt super withdrawn from the story this time. So, here it is. Sorry lovelys! Another tremendous thank you to the wonderful Ella for putting up with all my bullcrap and keeping me on a straight path. God bless her. xx_


	18. Mouthwash

Jamie POV

"Ella?" My hand on the doorknob tightened as I took in her beautiful features, grinding my teeth in understanding of why Niall obviously chose her. She was completely startled, jumping up to stand, timidly before me. Her teary eyes soon met my glare. "I almost feel bad for you." I spit, watching as she sunk in further into herself. I scoffed as I watched her body tremble, completely put off by my anger. I shook my head before turning to leave when her fearful voice caught my ears. "I didn't know." She whispered. I stopped, waiting to see if she would continue. "I promise I didn't know. I didn't know he had moved on. I should have figured as much. I have spent so much time waiting, and I had hoped.." Her voice faded out and I turned back to face her. She played with her nails, her eyes resting on the floor, making it clear she was trying to hold back tears.

I sighed, rubbing my head as I thought of what I wanted to do. "Are you alright?" I asked, lifting my eyes to find her obviously taken aback by my question. She adverted her gaze back to the toilet before nodding. "Mouthwash is in the cupboard." I added as I started shutting the door. "Jamie?" I creaked the door back open a few inches. "Can we just, erm, could you not, I mean, keep this between us." She fumbled over her words and I felt my hand clench at what she was asking. "I won't be talking to Niall anytime soon, so don't worry." She slowly nodded her head then, eyes still glued on the floor.

"Jamie, you alright?" I looked up to see Harry walking towards me. "Just fine." I remarked starting to close the door before his large hand caught it. He gave me a questioning look before dragging his eyes to the figure still in the bathroom. "Ella?" His brows furrowed, looking from her back to me. "What-" He froze, nose crinkling at the acidic smell of vomit that wafted through the air. "Oh, are you sick?" Her eyes grew wide, looking helplessly at me. "I, uhm, no. Well yes, but.." She stumbled carelessly over her words and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing at her clear panic. "I can't eat carrots. I'm allergic! A-and meat. I'm actually a vegetarian!"

Harry took a step back, almost frightened by her loud babbling. I giggled at her lame lies, knowing she must have never been in a situation like this before. I touched Harry's arm so his focus came back to me. "The food didn't settle well with her. She just didn't want to offend anyone. She's polite like that." He nodded and gave her a small sympathetic smile, though his eyes were still wide from her outburst. "H-hope you feel better." He said nervously before walking back to the kitchen. I turned back to her, watching as she shakily smoothed down her clothing. "You didn't have to do that." She murmured, before quietly sniffling and ducking her head so her hair hid her face. "Why are you crying?" I asked, fiddling with my hands at the awkward situation. Sniffling again, her long fingers brushed over her eyes. "Because I-I'm humiliated!" Her voice shook as she struggled to catch her breath. "I don't understand. I don't understand why you helped me. You should hate me for what I did. Not-not help me!" She let out a sob, her hands covering her flushed face again while she cried.

I sighed, drained of the entire situation that was taking place. Reaching over, I pulled a tissue up from the box and moved to the sink to wet it. I silently removed her hands from her face, pulling her chin upwards to wipe away the dark mascara streaks. "Stop crying." I muttered, watching as she harshly bit her lip, trying to pull herself together. I grabbed another tissue to wipe away the droplets on her face and hair from getting sick, making sure she looked somewhat normal before leaving the bathroom. My stomach twisted as I thought back to when the boys took care of me. _Did I look this broken and fragile? _She shook underneath my touch, as if she was scared of what I was going to say or do next. Tossing the tissue into the trash, I sat down on the edge of the tub, putting my hands in between my legs.

"Look, this isn't your fault and I'm sorry if I made it out to be that way." She nodded her head, trying to speak but I quickly cut her off with a wave of my hand. "You didn't know. I get it. I just.. This is a lot for me to handle." I dropped my head into my hands, swallowing back the tears that threatened to spill over. "He told me he loved me today, before you came here. Did you know that? He_ loved_ me. And as soon as you walked through the door, he didn't give me a second glance, like I…like _we_ meant nothing." I took a deep breath, quietly sniffling before letting a cynical laughter leave my lips. "I was never you, Ella. I was so fucking stupid to ever think I was ever even good enough to be what he needed. It's always been you. But just please.." My lip quivered, making it hard to talk, so I quickly tucked it in between my teeth. I could still feel her looming over me, uncertain of what to do.

Suddenly, a loud rasp on the door made both of us jump. "Ella? Yeh okay?" His Irish accent sent pain through my heart, knowing he no longer cared for me- knowing maybe he never did. I looked back at her, surprised to see tears cascading down her face, sadness clearly evident in her eyes. She hesitantly crouched down to squeeze my hand before adverting her gaze and standing to walk to the door. She quickly wiped her face and slipped out, the door only opening enough for her to fit through. I shut my eyes against the sound of his chuckle and the popping of their lips after they kissed. "I was worried about ya." He stated lowly, his voice fading as they walked through the hallway. "Where did you go anyhow?"

I sank to the floor, putting my head on my knees. _Why am I never good enough? Why wasn't I good enough for you?_ I sobbed, my fingernails raking down the sides of my sweatpants in a need to feel something, anything. It wasn't enough. Never enough. Opening the bottom drawer, I quickly found what I needed, and before long was holding the light metal in between my fingertips. Pushing at my sleeve, I unwrapped my bandage, slicing at the scarred skin when Harry's words hit me like a ton of bricks.  
_Harry._  
I promised.  
I desperately clutched at my wrist, trying to make the blood disappear. "Shit." I cussed as I pressed a tissue onto my bleeding arm. I slid back up the wall, practically running out of the bathroom. "Harry?" I asked breathlessly once I reached the kitchen, almost crying when there was no sight of his curly locks. I started to climb the stairs, easily losing my breath and quickly forgetting how weak I was. "Harry?" I called, poking my head into separate rooms. "Harry? Harry. Harry!" I moaned, panicking as each room turned up empty.

My chest rose and fell as my breath caught time and time again in my throat. "He wouldn't leave. He's still h-here. He's here." I started to chant, worried that the last significant person in my life walked out the door. "Jamie?" His alarmed voice came from the stairs as I watched him jog his way up them, worry etching into his features. In a few steps he was quickly by my side, hands cupping my face to study me with concern. "What's wrong?" He said in a breath, ducking his head to try to look at my eyes. I shook my head, pulling out of his grip only to bury my face into his shirt. "Hey, it's alright. Breathe babe. Breatheeee." He rubbed my back, his other hand smoothing over my hair as he took long exaggerated breaths in hopes I mimicked them. "I couldn't find you." I spoke after a few gulps of air. I felt him hum in response. "That's why you're upset?" He asked slowly, almost as if he didn't believe me. I sighed nodding my head while fumbling with my sleeve.

"I'm sorry Harry." I mumbled into his chest, chocking against my sobs. "I'm so sorry." He pulled me back, his thumb wiping at the tears that continued to escape my eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong." He said with a pout. I bowed my head, ashamed that I had been so week and slipped up. "Jamie?" His fingers wove through mine, pulling back when he felt the bloodied tissue that I held in my palm. I could feel his stare, but I willed myself not to look at his disappointing gaze. His hand gripped my arm gingerly as he pulled me behind him to the bathroom. He nodded at the countertop, silently wanting me to sit. I scooted up, quickly feeling uncomfortable in the silence- not knowing what Harry was thinking. He peeled my sleeve back, his face almost relieved when he only swathe one cut on my wrist.

"Are you mad?" I whispered, watching as he started to put an ointment on my arm. Rubbing it it with his pinky finger, he huffed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry." I said again, and he hummed, making it clear he wasn't exactly happy. "I thought he was going to choose me." He paused for a moment, but stayed silent, ripping open a bandage, so I continued. "I thought that maybe I had actually meant something to him. That he was going to fight for what we had. For what I _thought_ we had. Am I really that terrible of a person? That I can't keep anyone? I'm really that worthless? That he can just toss me aside?" I spat, my anger making me pity myself.

"You're not worthless." Harry added, his voice low. Snorting, I added. "Must have been, because he made it quite clear he doesn't want me anymore." I seethed, laying my head back against the mirror and looking up at the light that flickered. "And of course she has to be absolutely beautiful." I barely noted his tightening grip on my arm.

"You are beautiful." He commented factually, causing me to chuckle halfheartedly. Finishing up, his fingers moved from the bandage to my clenched fists, softly undoing them. "He was the one person I thought would never leave." I shook my head slowly. "Everyone leaves." My voice grew small as I started to choke up. "I shouldn't be surprised." I added, wiping at my frustrated tears. Looking up, I saw how close he had gotten. His hands rested on the countertop, either side of my legs, his face still studying mine.

"I'm still here." He murmured, as if it was a secret. Eyes locked onto mine, he glanced at my lips, dark eye lashes fanning over his eyes before looking back up at me. He leaned in, his sweet breath on my face. "Harry." I warned, pushing farther back into the mirror, but all too soon he closed the gap between us, warm lips brushing against mine.

A/N: OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY. Dear Lord, it has been forever, so welcome back all my fantastic readers! I decided Monday will be my uploading day for this story for now on. Mark your calendars. **MONDAY. **But this chapter is so short, I might upload another one before Monday! Another huge thank you to the most beautiful and wonderful Ella. Basically, no Ella, no story. So everybody say thank you! I also got quite a few asks about making a banner and/or photo before each chapter. I think it's a little late in the story to do so because I feel like everyone by now has their own image of what Jamie and Ella look like, so please let me know if you would still like me to add one or not. Hopefully everyone has been excellent, and please, please, PLEASE SEND ME YOUR FEEDBACK. I would like a few reviews just to see who is all still interested in this story anymore. See you all Monday! Much love, Mare. xx


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